All I Know Is That There Were Rumours...

That Fiddy Cent wants to open a chain of British Boozers with Vinnie upon his release from Big Brother... That Katie Price is "obsessed" with watching Alex: "She keeps on saying, 'He's not as famous as me, though', like it's some sort of weird mantra. She's really paranoid about it. She's not use to being in the half of the couple who's out of the public eye - and it's really unnerving her. She's been saying, 'He's nice, isn't he? He is nice, yeah?' over and over again, as if she's trying to persuade herself. But a lot of her close mates secretly think he's been playing up to the cameras and being really fake and kissing ass. They think he's being a bit of an idiot so far"... Of course he's an idiot, he's dating Katie Price... That Basshunter's girlfriend is still talking to The Sun: "He knows I'm watching. I don't know what he thinks? That everything will be fine between us after the show? Two weeks ago we were exchanging Christmas gifts and everything was perfectly fine. It couldn't actually be better. Now I watch him in bed with Katia... They're a perfect match since she has a boyfriend herself. I feel for Dan Turner, Ronnie Wood or whoever it is. It is a shame Jonas isn't like 40 years older - she would totally adore him then"... That Ronnie Wood is now dating another Russian in her twenties, 26-year-old Hannah Kamelmacher... He's taken her to see Jimmy White play snooker, and to a hotel room... He also took her for a Chinese in Surrey, where he (unwittingly) introduced her to Jo Wood, who "walked past the restaurant after taking a grandchild to the cinema right next door... She popped her head in and said hello - but didn't sit down and chat. Ronnie looked totally shocked"... That, of being voted off Dancing On Ice, Sinitta said: "It's bad enough that you're worried about falling yourself - but it was harder because I was aware that if I had my feet too close in I'd properly hurt him (her professional dancing partner). So I went too far out because I didn't want to injure Andrei. It was in my mind that I must stay clear of his manhood... I thought they wouldn't give me this move if they didn't think I could do it as it would ruin the first show. But then I remembered it makes great TV if we fall on our faces"... Of fellow contestant Heather Mills, she said: "We had a laugh together. I told her people will just see a lady overcoming adversity and skating. They'll soon see she's a laugh"... yep, a big cackling box of wild-eyed fun, fun, fun... she even dressed as the joker once... That Katy Perry is now without doubt pregnant, as herself and Russell were spotted "browsing for baby booties in Hampstead"... She then later ordered "well cooked" eggs and asked the waiter to "hold the mayo" when ordering her chips. She then took out a pregnancy test, piddled quietly in the corner, before tottering table to table, wielding the results in her ring clad hand, to show the results to all her fellow diners... That it's going to be a hermaphrodite... That Paris Hilton said: "Doug's taught me how to grow up and become more domestic, as in not going out as much as I used to"... Who knew Doug Reinheardt has his uses... That Jedward will perform a "medley of their X Factor hits" at the National Television Awards in London's O2 Arena: "We're billing this as the main event at the NTAs as we know how everyone loves the Jeds"... That Tobey Maguire and Sam Raimi won't have anything to do with the next "rebooted" version of the Spiderman franchise... That, of shooting sex scenes for Secret Diary of a Call Girl, Billie Piper said: "I was a chicken... and I had to bleat like a ewe. It makes me sweat just thinking about it! There's a weird and wonderful world out there, and I've learnt a lot. I feel quite jaded. I had cold baked beans right down my knickers at one point. I'd never get turned on by beans, but there's a whole group of people who enjoy having sex with food. It was fun to film: massaging blancmange into a man's facial hair, then pretending to make love to rice pudding! Hilarious"... That's the PR for the new series (starting January 28th on UTV *jazz hands*) done and dusted... That Michael McIntyre was offered Jonathan Ross's Friday night slot - and turned it down... Thank Christ for that, a humanoid version of ALF in a pink shirt is no competition for a suited and booted Earthworm Jim.... That the BBC are now asking Chris Evans to take the slot... I don't want it to be 1996 again... That Jude Law has is going to ask Sienna Miller to marry him... NARGH, I don't want it to be 2006 either *hurls egg timer across off desk*... That, in some good news for Tiger Woods, Mel Gibson is championing him: "I feel sorry for Tiger Woods. Why are we talking about this when we are sending 30,000 more troops to Afghanistan? You've got this history-changing event going on and we're talking about Tiger's private life and golf injuries *sniggers* He's being used as a diversion and it just drives me crazy. You come out savaged. I just think, 'Who cares?'"... That some bright spark is "building a Michael Jackson-based theme park in Indiana"... We'll pass no further comment on the obvious...