That David Beckham had his testicals grabbed by an Italian 'comedienne'... The Mirror reports: "The stunt - which would probably be classed as 'sexual assault' in any other country - was part of a 'hilarious' Italian comedy show called La Iene.It was billed as 'Prova Del Pisello Piccolo, which translates as 'testing the small peas.' The female 'comedienne' presenter Elena Di Cioccio apparently decided it was her mission to discover whether or not Beckham had had any 'enhancement' down there for the Armani photo shoot. She homed in on the star, currently on loan to AC Milan, ironically as he was giving an interview to a TV journalist saying how 'incredible' the people of the city had been to him. Unsurprisingly, Beckham looked shocked as he was hustled away by his security guards"... That Heidi Montag's album has sold 1,000 copies... That was worth the $2millon investment and the change of face... US Magazine reports: "In fact, industry sources tell UsMagazine.com that the album has sold only 658 downloads to date. This is likely upsetting news for the reality star, who told Entertainment Weekly last week that she went broke making Superficial but thought that 'within the first week, we will definitely make our money back.' She told EW, 'I put every dollar I have into this. I've spent over $1 million, almost $2 million, on this album. It's cost as much or more than a Britney Spears album because I wanted it to be that quality... The songs will make an impact in pop history'"... That the Spice Girls musical has been given the go ahead... That Simon Fuller must really be panicking since he lost his other cash cow, Simon Cowell... That Jedward have been signed to Sony... That Sigourney Weaver is playing a stripper in her next project... The 60-year-old saod: "There’s a project which sees me as an ageing stripper. But I can’t say a lot about that one. It’s going to be a surprise! I'm also playing the leading role in a film by Nicholas Roeg... I feel sexier than ever. I used to be really insecure. I hope I’ll live up to a 100 years. I never wanted to be like James Dean - die young and be famous afterwards"... That Ke$ha has denied rumours of her being Paris Hilton's sworn "frenemy", although she did admit to vomiting in Hilton's closet during a party one time... That David Hasselhoff has landed his own "family-themed reality series"... 'Cause that's what his daughters need... Hasselhoff, who was recently dispatched from his America's Got Talent post for being a drunkerd, said: "You know, they've always wanted to be singers and there comes a time in life when you become a parent and you say, 'Maybe I can help'"... Maybe stop drinking, then... That Tiger Woods is rubbing his fellow "sex addicts" up the wrong way in rehab: "The sportsman is exempt from compulsory group therapy because he insists on one-on-one sessions. It has also been alleged that Woods has a maid service, while the other patients are forced to take care of their own rooms. A source said: 'When Tiger enters one of the public areas, other patients have been told they have to leave the room. Other patients share a cabin, but Tiger has his own. His special privileges are causing a lot of resentment'"... That Nicolas Cage doesn't owe nearly as much as previously thought, "just $17million"...

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