That Madonna was looking to rent a womb to house her child before Jesus put the kybosh on things: "Madonna wants another baby of her own, so she is meeting with fertility experts. Jesus is totally on-board with the plan (sure), so nothing should stop her now"... bar being dumped by the prospective 22-year-old donor, of course... That Jamie Lynn Spears's behaviour is worrying some: "In the months leading up to Britney's 2008 breakdown she started wearing wigs and various wacky outfits on nights out. So when we see Jamie Lynn doing the same, it’s natural to worry about her well-being. It’s very strange behaviour, but alarmingly familiar. And who keeps their woolly hat on when they’re inside a nightclub anyway?"... Justin Timberlake, on occasion... That, of her Best Actress Oscar Nomination, Sandra Bullock said: "I do believe some liposuction is in order. A very strict diet regime, and I will acquire a very light English accent. " Of her co-nominee, Meryl Streep, she said: "With Meryl, when this whole thing started, I left her a voice mail going, 'You've got to watch your back. I'm gonna cut you. I'm gonna take you down,' and then she sent me dead orchids and told me to die, so I sent her a case of liquor and told her to toast to white trash"... Ah Sandra, since when did talking rubbish make you interesting... That Vanessa Perroncel (who used to date Lee Latchford-Evans off Steps before she copped footballers were not only boring, but infinitly richer) has had dalliances with no less than five Chelsea players, and now she feels "lonely": "Every time her mobile rings she's wondering, 'Will what I say end up in the papers?' She feels she can't trust anyone at the moment and she's increasingly lonely".... She should have considered that before wreaking homes... That Cheryl Cole has (wait for it) "contacted Wayne Bridge to offer support following the recent press attention surrounding his personal life"... At this point, it might be worth reminding people that Wayne Bridge is not married to John Terry, nor has he birthed twins for him... That Victoria Beckham, despite being photographed here in heels *waggles finger*, is undergoing surgery to remove her bunion: "She's been told the only way to get rid of the pain is by having surgery. She's finally facing up to it, but she's really worried about the painful procedure and the fact it will leave her out of action. It's a pretty major operation and Vic's said she's having sleepless nights at the thought of it. She's even been breaking out into a panic from the stress of contemplating such painful surgery"... She should just think of it as plastic surgery for her feet... That Mel B is releasing another solo album - 'cause things went so well last time... That Lily Allen has returned to Twitter: " Hello, I'm back. Just got back from aus, and I had wonderful time. Setting up my new office in london, got some really exciting stuff to share with you"... In other words, "exciting stuff I want you to spend money on"... That Brittany Murphy's husband, Simon Monjack, organised a memorial in his wife's honour, and was charging $1,000 for folk to attend - but then it was mysteriously cancelled... That TMZ reports: "the L.A. County District Attorney's Office has a criminal complaint drafted and ready to file against Dr. Conrad Murray in the death of Michael Jackson. We're told it's now just a matter of timing before Dr. Murray is charged with involuntary manslaughter - a felony that carries a maximum 4-year prison sentence"...
