That Lindsay Lohan has failed to make it back to America for "her probation progress report hearing", and therefore faces jail time. As she couldn't blame the ash cloud, she instead claimed her passport was stolen... That ole chestnut... TMZ reports: "We're told Lindsay's likely return date is Friday. She needs to attend 3 more alcohol ed classes to comply with the terms of probation. Those courses should have been completed by today, but the best she can hope for is a judge who believes in the saying, better late than never. Judge Marsha Revel will almost certainly issue a bench warrant this morning for Lindsay's arrest. Sources say, however, the judge will not go gunning for cops to arrest Lindsay when she lands in L.A. In fact, it wouldn't be unusual if the judge gives Lindsay the chance to surrender herself to the court next week. There's no room for argument - Lindsay has violated the terms of her probation and we're told the D.A.'s office thinks some jail time is in order"... That Lohan has been busy romancing Mean Girl's cast mate Amanda Seyfried's on/off boyfriend, Dominic Cooper, in Cannes - she even had a bodyguard to ask Sarah Harding to move seats so she'd have him all to herself: "The 23-year-old Mean Girls star was recently seen partying at a Belvedere Vodka party at Le Baron Hotel in Cannes and was spotted chatting to Mamma Mia star Cooper. However, Lohan was reportedly unimpressed when Harding came over to mingle with them. A source said to UK newspaper Daily Mirror: 'It looked like Lindsay had a crush on Dom and didn't want any pretty girls near him. So she clicked her fingers, and Sarah was turfed off the table by bouncers"... That Sarah Harding chose to watch Grace Jones perform in Cannes than go see Cheryl perform 40 minutes away in Monaco... I know which one I'd choose... When questioned why she wasn't going to see her bandmate, Harding said: "Not travelling out there. I'm going to stay here in Cannes"... That some Scientologists believe that the Travoltas are having another child so their 16-year-old son Jet - who died 18 months ago - can be reincarnated... A Scientologist speaking to The New York Post said: "The whole ethos of Scientology is that we come back. With Sea Org [the sect's upper echelon], they ask members to sign billion-year contracts. Their motto is 'We Come Back.' It makes sense that the Travoltas would have another baby after losing Jett"... However, Tommy Davis, a spokesperson for the church had different ideas: "We believe that when people pass away, the spirit leaves the body and moves to another body right away. I wouldn't want to make any comment on the Travoltas and the passing of their son, but for someone to suggest such a thing sounds pretty reprehensible to me"... So possession is preferable to timely reincarnation, good to know... That Miley Cyrus' range of jewellery range has been recalled from Walmart "after tests discovered the toxic metal cadmium in some pieces. A statement released to E! News on behalf of all parties involved read: 'The Miley Cyrus and Max Azria line is not for children. It is sold in our ladies apparel section and it was designed for and marketed to older audiences. However, it is possible that a few younger consumers may seek it out in stores. Miley Cyrus and Maz Azria jewellery is not intended for children, but as part of our unwavering commitment to protecting the safety of children, we are removing all of the jewellery from sale while we investigate its compliance with our children's jewellery standard'"... According to science boffins: "Ingesting even a small amount of cadmium can lead to serious liver and kidney problems as well as weakening bones and the respiratory tract"... That Strictly Come Dancing want the likes of Victoria Beckham, Amy Winehouse, Chelsea Clinton, her dad's old lover Monica Lewinsky, Kimberley Walsh and Patsy Kensit to be contestants on the next series... They are also targeting Lembit Opik... A BBC source said: "It's no secret last year's line-up was pretty rubbish and viewers weren't happy. This year we're going for much bigger names. We've got more money to spend as things like Jonathan Ross's expensive contract have come to an end"... Imagine Amy Winehouse doing the Cha Cha Cha... That Courtney Love is blabbing more about ancient conquests in a bid to promote her album... The Sun reports: "Former junkie Love - 45-year-old singer with rock band HOLE - had dropped hints weeks ago about a tryst with a female pin-up, who she claimed chased her round a room, leading to a sex session. And in a startling new magazine interview she has now claimed: 'It was Kate Moss. She doesn't care... It's a great story for the grandchildren, so yeah. Kate wasn't doing a lot of drugs. It was just a thing that happened in Milan in the Nineties. It happened and it was fun and whatever. And she talks about it and so I hope she doesn't get mad that I outed her about it. I feel like such a kiss and tell. Kate's great, though! Kate's a good friend of mine. I almost bought her house in St John's Wood, London"... She also continued with her claims she bedded Gavin Rossdale while he was with Gwen Stefani: "Me and Gavin dated for eight months, but never when they were engaged. He was playing the field. One night Gavin made roast chicken and it was really, really good. And then we snogged and he was really good at it"... Snogged? Courtney Love saying "snogged?"... That the sub editors are slipping...
