That Jordan's finally had a long hard hawk in the mirror: "When she saw herself on TV on her new show on Wednesday (plug, plug, plug), she screamed in pure horror, 'I look like a f***ing chipmunk!' When all her friends were trying to congratulate her, Katie was ignoring the nice comments and instead she was fuming, 'Oh my God, look at my beak. It's an actual beak. It's like f***ing ducks' lips that stick out, it’s a joke.' At this point, even her close friends admitted that she did look funny, which made Katie confess, 'I hate the way my face looks.' She then said she was never going to have Botox again, but knows she will as she can't stop herself"... That her single debuted at number 60, or summink... That, of her break up with fiancé Luke, Kelly Osbourne wrote: "I kept up my side of the bargain and kept my side of the street clean, and no amount of male stupidity and no number of slutty girls are going to change that. Sitting here, bashing him and telling the world how horrible I feel doesn’t get either of us anywhere. It’s just time to be positive about my new life and to move onwards and upwards"... One can assume Luke did the dort... That Ronan and Yvonne are renewing their wedding vows, 'cause that'll wipe the slate clean: "Ronan is ashamed of how he behaved and desperately wants to prove to Yvonne that he is a changed man. They are mad about each other and are definitely back on track. He feels that renewing his vows will show Yvonne how much she means to him. He wants their close friends and family there with them on the day so they can see how important it is to him. They are planning to have two ceremonies - one in Australia for just Yvonne and Ronan and another in Ireland that their friends will attend"... That Jack Tweed has been trying to try it on with Pixie Lott: "Jade Goody's widower attempted to 'charm' the pop singer at the Duke Of Essex Polo event. He then apparently followed Lott to the 195 Club in Epping. The tabloid alleges that Tweed was like a 'dog on heat', but was refused entry to the roped-off VIP area in the nightclub. 'He tried everything to get in - he was desperate to speak to Pixie,' said a source. 'But security were having none of it. They didn't care who he was'"... That Chanelle Hayes is now responsible for another life: "The reality TV star, 22, confirmed on her Twitter account earlier today that she was enjoying the "happiest day" of her life with her baby. 'I'm a mummy and my baby is beautiful. X' she added... Hayes is currently single after splitting from the baby's father Matthew Bates shortly after she fell pregnant. Earlier this month, she announced that she was no longer dating widower Jack Tweed, revealing that her baby was the 'only boy' who would be in her life forever"... No pressure, little one... That Louis Walsh said: "I got my eyes done and I admitted it, unlike Simon! I don't think I will get any more work done yet. But Simon has booked in for his usual surgeries. I don't know what bits of him are real any more, I don't think he does either"... That Cheryl Cole has been bombarding Cowell with texts from her sickbed... That, of Taylor Momsen labelling her as "Disney Bubblegum sh*t", Miley Cyrus's mate said: "Miley is furious - who wouldn't be? She thought Taylor was pretty cool until this happened, which has left her totally confused. Taylor is so obviously desperate for fame. I mean, she's traipsing around town in her underwear, or is that for the love of the music too?"... Pot and kettle... That, of being compared to Britney Spears, Miley managed to say herself: "I try to look at everything in my life as positive. So I can either look at it and say it's negative, and look at the things she's done wrong, and say, 'How can someone compare me to her?', or I could be the positive person and look at all the amazing history that she's made, and the things that she's accomplished, and I'll take it as a compliment. I choose to take it as a compliment"... That Lindsay Lohan recently tweeted: "The only 'bookings' that i'm familiar with are Disney Films, never thought that i'd be "booking" into Jail... eeeks"...
