That Charlie Sheen has gotten away with it: "Sheen yesterday dodged jail time for pulling a knife on his wife Christmas Day - copping a guilty plea in exchange for entering rehab and attending anger-management classes. 'Guilty as charged, your honor,' Sheen told a judge in Aspen, Colo., where he had attacked his third and currently estranged wife, Brooke Mueller, more than seven months ago"... That when he left the courtroom, he jovially told TMZ: "I'm going to Disneyland"... That Lindsay Lohan has joined the increasing line of celebraddies who have bipolar (my sympathies, Mr. Fry), she's also being treated for addiction to crystal meth... That Mischa Barton is leaving LA for London... She was last seen careering out of Camden's Hawley Arms clutching a plastic pint of beer... That Alex Ferguson wasn't thrilled to see photos of Wayne Rooney smoking and roaring football chants outside Manchester's Panacea nightclub at 5.30am Sunday morning... That Jerry Hall's fallen for a man who drove her to a book launch in Wales: "Philip (Ferguson) was sent to pick up Jerry and they hit it off. They chatted all the way"... That, when not house-hunting, Derek Hough's been treating Cheryl Cole to the odd footlong sub in LA... That Hough's mate, Mark Somethingorother, has just released a song they co-wrote together, which contains the lines: "I know things are getting better even when you feel like they're not. So hey girl take a look around you, look at everything that you've got. And I know you’ve been in a scary place, can I help you through the day, treat you how you deserve to be. Wanna be a part of your fantasy, where maybe you could promise me we'll keep the light on"... That Jedward are having a "range of sweets modelled on their quiffs"... We have the innovative folk behind Rowntree's Randoms to thank for that: "The boys are so excited at this deal that during meetings to discuss it they ate ten packets"... That GiseleBundchen said: "I think breastfeeding really helped [me keep my figure]. Some people here [in the US] think they don't have to breastfeed, and I think, 'Are you going to give chemical food to your child when they are so little?' I think there should be a worldwide law, in my opinion, that mothers should breastfeed their babies for six months"... That, of choosing to star in porn to kick start a career in Hollywood, Laurence Fishbourne's daughter Montana said: "My dad is very upset. I heard that he's mad at me but I haven't spoken to him yet. I feel pretty confident that I can work things out with him. I think he wants to support me in everything I do, and though he sees this now as a negative, I believe in time he will view it as a positive"... That I somehow doubt Laurence has the same levels of desperation as Kris Jenner... That, as it turns out, Nicolas Cagehas had a lot on his mind of late, which might go towards explaining why he was less than keen to talk about the past during our recent chat... and therefore threw my line of questioning up skitter creek with nary a paddle for company... Nope, I'm still not over that... That Robbie Williams is headlining Help for Heroes gig... That Simon Cowell sings like a 'strangled hyena'...
