That Michael Lohan's God complex is thriving; he's now setting up a (lucrative) "faith-based" treatment centre: "After seeing what my daughter, myself, and other people have been through, I realise this is my calling and purpose in life. The basis of the rehab will be that there is a God, that good conquers evil, that the best way to live is to treat others like you want to be treated and treat your body like a temple... You don't have to be Lindsay Lohan or Nicole Richie or Robert Downey Jr. or a celebrity to get rehab"... That Lindsay Lohan was requested not to attend the LA premiere of Machete. Seemingly director Robert Rodriguez "was frantically trying to track down her manager to make sure she didn't go. She wasn't welcome there"... That Britney Spears' old manager, Larry Rudolph, has now taken on Lindsay in a bid to make her "career" a reality... That 84-year-old acting legend Jerry Lewis said of Lohan: "I would smack her in the mouth if I saw her. I would say, 'You deserve this and nothing else - whack!' And then if she's not satisfied, I'd put her over my knee and spank her. The same thing with Paris Hilton - those children are begging for help. What they're doing is saying, 'Can you please help me?' When people who have celebrity give nothing in return, they need a spanking and a reprimand"... That Paris posted a picture of herself with her "friend's" handbag on Twitter yonks ago: "Hilton posted a picture on Twitter over a month ago of a purse identical to the one with which she was recently arrested for drug possession, according to reports. The 29-year-old is said to have denied accusations that the bag allegedly containing cocaine was hers, insisting that 'she had borrowed it from a friend'. However in mid-July, Hilton posted a photograph of a bag very similar to the one she was carrying when arrested, with the caption: 'Love My New Chanel Purse I Got Today :)'... That Eva Longoria posted a picture of herself and Vanessa Williams on Twitter, throttling each other, with the caption: "Just another day at the office with Vanessa Williams!"... Vanessa has joined the Desperate Housewives cast to play a "cougar on the prowl", news that's sure to have Nicollete Sheridan tuning in... That Zsa Zsa Gabor's husband is a fan of glorified taxidermy: "My wife has always dreamt that her beauty would be immortal. I would like to show the plastinated body of Zsa Zsa Gabor in the context of a scene in one of her films"...That Kerry Katona will appear on Dancing On Ice... That James May has been discussing how they're going to kill off The Stig: "There was black-overalls Stig, who had to be dealt with by Andy. And then we got white-overalls Stig, who will be dealt with. We start some filming next week. We've had some thoughts - driving to The Stig's house and nailing his head to the table was one. And getting our overalls back because they're not his. And those stupid, poncy shoes he wears. They're ours. And the gloves"... That Oksana Grigorieva is in the midst of trying to persuade a judge that her daughter with Mel Gibson requires $40k a month... TMZ reports: "Grigorieva is asking the judge to make Mel Gibson buck up - WAAY up - by increasing her monthly child support from $5,000 a month to more than $40,000... Our sources say Oksana gets $2,500 a month in child support from Timothy Dalton - the father of her 13-year-old son Alexander. It's a tough sell convincing Judge Scott Gordon that a 9-month-old baby needs nearly 20 times more money than a 13 year old boy"... That Mark Ronson has, eh, only lovely things to say about Daisy Lowe... That Jim-Jim Nugent is rejoining FM 104's Strawberry Alarm Clock to co-host with Mark Noble after leaving RTE...That I've a feeling most people who read this site are currently roaming around fields in Stradbally... If so, enjoy you lucky bastids. We'll have round ups, photos and more on our Electric Picnic Page and Caught Out... You can also keep up to date with the timetable on your mobile, and with Tweets over the weekend courtesy of John (JB), Alicia (AC) and Dara (DM)...

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