All I Know Is That There Were Rumours...

That George Michael was to make a plea for early release, on the grounds of his four week jail sentence being "manifestly excessive"... Then he copped on, "abandoned his bail application" and decided to take it like a grown up... That this interchangeable blonde is one Candy McCulloch - she's in the even sh*ttier version of Hollyoaks (Hollyoaks Later), is "good pals with WAGS like Abbey Clancey and Sheree Murphy", and is the daughter of one Ian 'Bunnyman' McCulloch. I'm sure he's very proud... That Kate Walsh off Private Practice has jumped on the recent "edible if a little on the raw side" themed fashion keerraaayze by sporting sushi on Leno... That Robbie Williams has been depressed, he's been suffering from a mystery illness: "I thought I was lethargic and depressed as a person. I thought that was my make-up. I found out a few months ago that I'd been ill, completely by mistake, and I don't want to go into the whys and wherefores, but what I had made you lethargic and made you depressed and I'd had it for years and not known. I'm on treatment for it. It's changed my life"... Robbie didn't come across with the actual name of his condition, which is most helpful for the legion of people unnecessarily on anti depressants... That Simon Cowell is bulling after he heard Robbie and Gary Barlow will duet on the opening episode of Strictly Come Dancing: "This was like waving a red flag in front of a bull for Simon. He's a perfectionist. He wants to be the best and he hates to lose"... That Nicole Scherzinger, as expected, will be one of the judges on American X Factor... She will join Simon and - given the following - Cheryl: "As part of a multi-million pound deal, the 27-year-old will quit the UK series and use the US version of the show to launch her Hollywood career, the Daily Mail said. A source close to music mogul Simon Cowell, 50, reportedly confirmed the move to the newspaper, stating, "I would say it's a good bet that Cheryl is coming to America. It's something that Simon and Cheryl have been discussing for months"... That someone who set up a Twitter account under the name Cheryl Kerl has been... given a book deal: "Publishers Coronot will release the book on October 14, shortly after Cheryl Cole's official release Through My Eyes. Commissioning editor Charlotte Haycock said: 'As soon as I first heard about 'Cheryl Kerl' I fell in love with her. Woath It? gently pokes fun at the modern world of celebrity and has great commercial potential'"... When asked about their new book deal, the "mystery 'Cheryl Kerl' creator" said: "Ah man, when Coronet asked uz tuh reet mei book Ah wuz leik blern awey. Tuh think thar Ah’m ganna be joinin the ranks a the literaree greats leik Shakespeeah, Dickins an Joadun is berth humblin an tertally mint"... I'm heading off to a high mountain top to howl into the wind... Before that, I am contractually obliged to point you in the direction of the X Factor Page... And mention that the auditions stage of the show comes to a close this weekend, with two episodes (Saturday and Sunday) in Manchester...