That Cheryl Cole is cobbled together some autotuned sh*te with Dizzee Rascal for her new album: "Cheryl approached Dizzee about working together and they managed to rattle this track out in record time for the new album. It was only a matter of time before the current King and Queen of pop came together. It was all Cheryl's idea. She's a big fan of Dizzee and his collaborations with other artists. They got on really well and were on the same level. They had a good laugh together. Dizzee had a sparkle in his eye for her"... That Katie Waissal managed to peeve off her previous co-workers by being useless: "The 23-year-old singer, who is in Cheryl Cole's Girls category, used to work for the Daily Star's parent company Northern & Shell as a sales rep. According to the tabloid newspapers, she landed the job after begging for a chance, describing herself as potentially 'the best sales rep of all time'"... A source talking with The Sun said: "She made it perfectly clear that she considered people who had nine-to-five jobs as robots. However, Waissal apparently spent most of her time on the job writing poetry, slagging off her co-workers and on one occasion playing the banjo at her desk... When she actually realised she had to work, she couldn't cut it. It was just like on X Factor when she broke down. She gives it the 'big-un' but she's all talk"... That 50 Cent is dating Chelsea Handler: "Curtis Jackson, and the Chelsea Lately star were seen getting up close and personal in a New Orleans bar on Sunday night. An insider told TMZ the 35-year-old and Handler, also (allegedly) 35, were getting 'hot and heavy' with each other"... That Rachel McAdams is dating Michael Sheen: "Since meeting at a party for Sheen's weeper, Beautiful Boy, the two have been all over Toronto, holding hands and with eyes only for each other"... That Kristin Davis has adopted an elephant (the Kristin from SATC, not the New York madam, for fear you thought the elephant was about to be utilised in the boudoir)... That Johnny Depp isn't into UK tuckah: "The Hollywood star, 47 - in Greenwich reprising his role as scoundrel Jack Sparrow - was offered spinach and ricotta ravioli, chicken curry, sausage and mash or jacket potato with salad. But a source said: 'He was really annoyed, said he needed something decent to survive and kept on about noodles'"... He also thinks the English are slow... That Jennifer Aniston has been name the world's most eligible women by Vanity Fair... That'd keep you warm at night... That Snooki is wanted by the sex industry: "According to a letter sent to her agent Sept. 23, FleshDrive wants Nicole 'Snooki' Polizzi, 22, to perform a non-sexual role as the 'face' of the company. 'Our company image is that we pack a big punch in a little package,' Vice President of Sales Michael Gruosso wrote in the letter. 'Who better to endorse our product than the woman who does exactly that? We know that Snooki makes a big impression wherever she goes, and that is why her tiny figure and incredible attitude will fit perfectly within the FleshDrive world. By merging Snooki with the FleshDrive, we know Snooki will make a great amount of money by doing very little'"... In short: "Don't worry, she won't be the one getting her clunge out"... That U2 are headlining Glastonbury, again... That EastEnd Strictly Come Dancing contestant Scott Maslen said of his dance partner: "I'm lucky I already have a very beautiful wife, so she doesn't have to worry about me flirting with Natalie. She came to my house recently and met my whole family. I didn't go into the job to meet someone and have an affair - I went on to learn to dance... Affairs do happen though, obviously... She shows me exactly what she wants and she's got very high standards. Natalie's phenomenal, awesome and stunning. I try to copy what she does but I can't quite pull off her graceful moves"... That Sinitta is now likening Cowell's harem of exes to a rockery: "I have been with Simon the longest and I am so used to being with him. He likes his women to look good - he's old-fashioned like that. Nothing is wasted on him. We are all so different. I think of us as flowers in a garden - daisies, orchids, different colours"... That, last year, she accused fellow flower, Jackie St. Claire of bullying...
