That Simon should've given Mary Wagner's gag: "It's a fix. It's obvious Simon Cowell didn't want me. It's not the show the public think it is. I knew the public had voted for me to stay on and I actually thought the vote would be based just on their vote. It was only on Saturday I discovered that there would be a sing-off where the judges decided. It's obvious Simon didn't want me in the final and I get that. I'm not as marketable to him as Cher so he was never going to put me through. They fixed it for me to lose. It didn’t matter what the public think"... That, of Cher, will.i.am said: "To me, Cher is like running with apples and oranges. It's like apples and coffee beans. It ain't even the same thing. You can make apple juice with apples but there is only one thing you can do with a coffee bean, make coffee. Whoever got that first coffee bean and said, 'I want to make coffee out of it', is a visionary. That person had to walk in and say, 'You know what, I want to make a drink out of this'. Because when you see a coffee bean you just don't know what it is because it ain't a bean and it ain't a peanut. So the person who turned it into coffee is a visionary and he's forgotten because you don't even know who it was. But we always drink coffee now. Think about this sh*t. When you first saw a coffee bean, right, you were like, 'This ain't no bean and this ain't no peanut'"... That, after her appearance on the Xtra Factor, Peaches Geldof tried to pick up 16-year-old Harry Styles under the pretence of setting him up with her 14-year-old sister, Tiger Lily... She also said she wanted to offer him 'spiritual guidance'... Of the experience, Harry said: "It was weird,. She seemed pretty keen on talking to me but I didn’t want to give her my number. I don't need any spiritual help so I nodded along, and someone suggested I give her a fake number so I swapped around the last few digits"... That Russell Brand is getting to play a footballer... Funnily enough, the character is a "hard-boozing womanizer who goes on to wreak havoc on a small lonestar town"... That he, along with his missus, and the lovely Helen Mirren, attended the LA premiere of his latest film, The Tempest, last night... In what realm is this attractive?... That Eddie Izzard, Plus One's Daniel Mays, and Life On Mars' Philip Glenister were spotted having a drink in Dublin's Gibson Hotel yesterday evening... That Izzard's head now is shaved and he rather resembles Gary Glitter... That the BBC are giving James Corden yet another show... It's a sitcom "based in a council office in Swindon"... That doesn't sound at all familiar... That Brooklyn-born billionaire pharmaceutical executive Stewart Rahr donated $500,000 to the Keep a Child Alive organisation's Digital Death campaign so the partaking celebrities - Alicia Keys, Swizz Beatz, Kim and Khloe Kardashian, Lady Gaga, Justin Timberlake, Ryan Seacrest, Daphne Guinness - could start Tweeting again... The New York Post reports: " The boldfaces agreed to "kill" themselves on social media until they raised a $1 million for the charity, which helps fund HIV/AIDS relief in Africa and India. But it took longer than expected, and insiders say the celebs became frustrated. "It's the worst mismanagement of star power I've ever seen in my life," said a source close to the program. Sources said the organization expected to raise the $1 million in a week. But by yesterday, after six days, it had taken in only about $450,000. Stars including Kim Kardashian, who can earn about $10,000 a tweet, started getting itchy fingers. One source blamed servers that crashed for 12 hours on the first night for the slow-paced donations. Others blamed lack of promotion and overestimating the participants' Twitter power. Another source said, 'Some stars thought the money would be raised in 24 hours, and were embarrassed that critics said it proves nobody cares about their Twitter presence'"… That, despite the rumours, Kim Kardashian is denying she was momentarily impregnated by Kanye West during the summer... That Khloe Kardashian said: "I thought I was a dog for a good three years! Really, I thought I was a dog! I would say I was three, four, five, maybe six. For a long time!... Crazy! One time we were on a cruise and this lady was being mean to [my uncle]. He told me, 'Go bite her leg!' I actually bit her leg! But what can she do to a 4-year-old who is crawling and biting her leg? I thought I was a dog!"... That Jennifer Aniston's good friend, Chelsea Handler, had this to say of Angelina Jolie during a recent stand up gig: "She can rescue as many babies from as many countries as she wants to. I don't f**king believe you… she gives interviews, 'I don't have a lot of female friends.' Cause you're a f**king c**t… you're a f**king b***h"... That Antony Cotton's Sean Tully will have the first line on Thursday's Corrie live episode: "When I found out they'd given me the first line, I was like, 'Are they mad?'"... That the line is: "What was it? What's going on?!"... That, of her career in poo stabbing, Gillian McKeith said: "I think it goes back to when I was little. I was out for a snow walk with my dad and we got caught in a blizzard. I was desperate for the toilet and he made me a snow loo and I had to do a poo. It must be that. My mum keeps saying, 'Is there any way you can stop talking about poo. It's disgusting. It puts me off my dinner'. She can't bear it. It's not like you can smell it through the TV, mum"... So her mum's the irrational one... Who knew...
