That a Lady GaGa stalker came "dangerously close" while backstage at her recent London O2 gig: "It's been revealed that Lady GaGa 'freaked out' after a stalker managed to get backstage at last week's O2 gig and within yards of the singer... By making a series of laminate passes and fooling security, the stalker lady was heading towards GaGa’s dressing room. A gobby source backstage said: 'GaGa was understandably shaken by the incident but was a consummate professional and continued as per normal, putting on a dazzling show'"... which includes her breasts being pressed up against a sweaty plastic bodice - why would potential stalkers be interested in that?... That, of two Kings of Leon tour buses going on fire, thus resulting in the cancellation of their London O2 gig last night, Nathan Followill tweeted: "I'm so bummed about 2nites show. Sorry 4 the fans, 4 our crew who lost all their s***, including passports. I'm thankful everyone's safe... I shall drink as if it's a show day, which means I'm already behind. I'll make it up 2 y'all. Shirtless hyde park show?"... Yessir.... That, after hiring out the whole Dromoland Castle when their plane was redirected to Shannon, U2 then had to make their way back to Dublin on yer bogstandard Irish Rail train... That Brian McFadden felt the need to post pictures of himself having a root canal on Twitter... We'll spare you those... That Sean Bean's fourth wife has now scarpered: "The Lord Of The Rings star, 51, and actress Georgina Sutcliffe were granted a 'quickie' decree nisi at the High Court in London. They said they found it intolerable to live together. Georgina, 32, once accused Bean of assault but the charges were dropped"... That, of her adopted kids choosing to live with Tom Cruise over her, Nicole Kidman said: "They live with Tom, which was their choice. I'd love them to live with us, but what can you do?"... Might I suggest learning the art of brain washing?... That, of claims her co-star, Miley Cyrus, was leading her astray on set, Kelly Osbourne replied: "Actually it's the other way around Miley has us all on a health kick. Gym/early nights (sic). Miley is one of the most hard working respectful women I have ever worked with I am learning a lot from her… Miley and I have become really close I'm sick of all the haters judging her she made one mistake and trust me she has learned her lesson!"... That Mezhgan Hussainy, AKA Simon Cowell's current variation on a theme, has taken issue with the prospect of spending NYE with his ex-girlfriends, including Sinitta and Terri - both of whom he's currently on holidays with: "Simon and Mish haven't spent much time together of late, but Simon has vowed to give their relationship another shot and give her his all. He originally tried to fly her out on his private jet but that got grounded so she flew first-class on a standard 747 instead. Simon greeted her with champagne and they had a romantic supper together on Tuesday evening. But one of the conditions she put down is that Sinitta b*llocks off out of the way. She wants time alone with her man. Simon has agreed, and now he and Mezhgan will be celebrating New Year's Eve together on his yacht, the Slipstream (WHO CARES?) But, Simon being Simon, he won't ditch the harem altogether. Instead, they are all meeting up on January 1. Mezhgan is happy with this arrangement and accepts that Simon is compromising massively... for him"... That I'm not going into the Paris Hilton spent time on a Delta Airlines plane with a box cutter story as it's beyond boring. Instead, we'll close with news of Zsa Zsa Gabor's husband welding his eyes shut: "Zsa Zsa Gabor's husband was rushed to hospital today after he accidentally glued his eye shut. According to Gossip Cop, Prince Frederic Von Anhalt squeezed his wife's nail glue into his eye after mistaking it for eye drops. 'He couldn't see,' said the couple's representative (no sh*t). The prince was taken to the hospital, given painkillers and prepped for a surgical procedure to open his eyelid, reports TMZ. He is due for release later today"... Man, I don't want to get old...

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