That Matt Bellamy has now proposed the person attached to the uterus housing his unborn child, i.e. Kate Hudson... And so history repeats itself... If you fancy watching a not-at-all surprising montage of a middleaged Scotsman footie commentator questioning a woman's ability while trying to get on down with the lads, you can do so here (by the by, I'm not being ageist, racist or sexist as I didn't question his ability to do his job, although now that he's been fired he might find it a little difficult)... That Jason Sudeikis has moved from January Jones on to Scarlett Johansson...The latter has since denied claims that they are dating... That, when Ellen Degeneres asked Jennifer Love-Hewitt if she really had three engagement rings already chosen should anyone ask her to marry them, the remainder of the conversation went something like this: "Jennifer: Well, I actually have three because I feel like I’m doing the guy a favor. I feel women are very confusing. We never know what we want and we’re not very good at nailing that down for them. And I feel like I don’t want to be upset if he picks a bad ring, so I feel like having three picked out and saying, 'Look! Look at this plethora of things you can chose from!' // Ellen: So you tell them this ahead of time? // Jennifer: Well, yes. // Ellen: You say, 'I have three rings picked out, should you decide…' // Jennifer: Well, if it gets to that conversation. If marriage comes up, I'm like, 'You know what's so weird. There is this store and there are three rings in it.' // Ellen: What store is it? // Jennifer: Tiffany's. And if you chose one of these three, I'm going to be really excited. And if you go off on your own, we can have an awful, awkward moment. So why would you want to do that?"... That explains a multitude... That Madonna and Lourdes have asked Kelly Osbourne to replace Taylor Momsen as the face of their teen fashion range, Material Girl... That Kelly is now mates with one of the pre-op transsexuals her fiancé, Luke Worrall, had an affair with behind her back.... Elle Schneider, who was born Reynaldo Gonzalez, told Heat: "I spoke to Kelly about two days ago. Every time we talk on the phone, it will be for 40 minutes to an hour. Kelly contacted me on December 25 - she had read Luke's private messages to me on his Twitter page and wanted to let me know he had been lying to me, just like he had lied to her"... Digital Spy reports: "Schneider, who is undergoing hormone treatment and has had breast implants, said that she first met Worrall at a New York nightclub in late 2009 and slept with him that same evening at the hotel she was staying in"... That Simon Cowell has thrown ITV into turmoil by announcing he won't be partaking in the audition process for this year's X Factor: "Network chiefs became so desperate to keep their biggest star they even offered to charter a private jet to whisk him across the Atlantic each week. Simon's biggest priority is the US 'X Factor' at the moment - he has got a lot to prove and he has to make it a hit"... That US producers of the show have now deemed Cheryl "not famous enough", again: "It was thought the American job was a done deal, but it seems the US executives have had a last-minute change of heart. They are now questioning whether she's famous enough in America"... They're more interested in "more credible" artists like Rihanna or Katy Perry.... Ah well, at least there's always the non-existent acting career to fall back on: "Cheryl's people are already looking into film roles for her. There is a belief in Hollywood that if you're not in a movie you're no-one, and she knows that a part in a film could really launch her career over there. They're focusing on an all-action kick-ass role which would show her off in the best light. She'd look fabulous on-screen in a vampish costume. She knows the key to her success probably lies in her killer looks. Her people are all too aware an action role is ideal as it won't involve too much acting ability"... That Sam Worthington has split from Natalie Mark, AKA the red fringe he couldn't march down a red carpet without during 2009/2010... Keeping with red carpets, the South Bank Awards took place last night, and boasted a guestlist consisting of Victoria Wood, Jo Whiley, Miranda Hart, Larry Lamb, Ronnie Wood's latest midlife crisis, Uncle Monty, Rupert Grint, Nancy Sorrellin an eye-watering dress, bird from the Noisettes in an even more eye-watering dress, and a feral-looking Nigel Kennedy with some ensemble called Bond... That you can see photos from Paris Fashion Week and last night's JDIFF launch in Caught Out...
