That, after Charlie Sheen received treatment for his hernia (which he got "from laughing too hard..."), he was carted off to rehab for 3 months... They have their work cut out for them cause he still doesn't think he has a problem, what with the actor saying on Friday: "I'm fine. People don't seem to get it... Guy can't have a great time and do his job also?"... And look after his four (known) kids?... That the crew of Two and a Half Men are "grumbling" as they'll be out of work for the duration of Charlie's rehab stint... TMZ reports: "We're told the studio hasn't decided what to do this time around - whether the staff will be fully or partially compensated. A decision is expected soon"... If they aren't compensated, they can always hit mouthy porn star Kacey Jordan for some sponds; she was handed a cheque for $30k during his 36-hour briefcase cocaine bender: "Sources involved in the bender tell us ... Sheen broke out his checkbook during a conversation with a porn star Wednesday in which he asked her to join the 'porn family' he wants to create (cause a porn family's better than a real family any day, kids). We're told Sheen - in a showing of good faith - wrote a $30,000 check made out to 'cash' and told the porn star to take it to the bank... and the money was hers"... Kacey happily posed for photos outside the bank, before telling everyone there she had "quick sex" with Sheen and that he's planning on replacing his dwindling teeth with a gold grill: "They've fallen out from partying. He kept saying 'f***ing porcelain teeth - they're c**p'. He said he had to get gold teeth. We all know it's the drug use"... That Alex Reid was surprised Jordan didn't respond to his text complaining of a hurty shoulder: "Alex had to call an ambulance after he 'slipped over while doing some sort of martial art'... Paramedics arrived at her house he's still squatting in and popped his shoulder back in before taking him off to hop-it-alex for an X-ray. He texted Jordan to let her know and she ignored him... Alex was absolutely gutted by how cruel she was and now realises his wife has no feelings for him whatsoever. He thinks she is a heartless bitch'"... That Derek Hough isn't keen on Cheryl Cole's tattoos, shocker: "Derek doesn't like Cheryl's tattoos much and has been poking fun at them. He said to her that even though he loves her, he doesn't love her inscriptions. He got a laugh out of her by saying when she's older, her back will look like a treasure map"... Cheryl has since been meeting up with Ashley: "The key thing that led to contact being restored was the interview(/ closely monitored blub fest orchestrated by Piers Morgan). Ashley had been absolutely dreading it. He'd feared another bucketload of shit after all the media criticism of. Cheryl only spoke of love and tenderness. She couldn't have been nicer... He has been getting some positive signals from Cheryl and has been responding to them. He said he'd be discreet (no pants photos) and make sure they weren't pictured together - and then they could meet somewhere private afterwards. They talked for 10 minutes. It was obvious from his reaction she was unsure - but only because she was worried they'd be pictured. She wasn't against the idea of meeting"... That you can see Mr. Facebook interacting with Mr. Pretendy Facebook here...That Blue are vying to represent Britain in this year's Eurovision... That Channel 5 are continuing to provide an outlet for desperation: they've picked up Big Brother and want Emma Griffiths to host it... That Andrew Sachs has been reunited with his "satanic slut" granddaughter after her boyfriend of one month, that being Adam Ant, wrote him a letter: "Georgina is elated her grandfather wants to see her again and hopes they can begin to put the past behind them and move on. It's all down to Adam. He was desperate to help and wrote a letter off his own back. He has a way with words. It was very personal and explained how much Georgina loved him and was sorry for any upset she had caused"... That Jack Nicholson said: "If men are honest, everything they do and everywhere they go is for a chance to see women. There were points in my life where I felt oddly irresistible to women. I'm not in that state now and that makes me sad"... That Kylie said: "My face has been outshone by my bottom. It makes me laugh, and every time I pull on a pair of hotpants I think to myself, ‘This is the last time’, but it never is. I haven’t quite put an end date on hotpants yet"... That the SAG Awards weren't the only high profile soiree to take place over the weekend; most of the same people - like Natalie Portman; Sofia Vergara; Amy Adams; Claire Danes; Julia Stiles; Helena Bonham Carter - trotted up the DGA red carpet on Friday... That Helena and Sofia should've worn those dresses last night... The same can't be said for Julia... That there's a reason Sheldon never smiles in The Big Bang Theory...
