That, surprise, surprise, Episodes is getting a second series (cause the final episode last week didn't end on the dullest knife edge ever)... That, surprise, surprise, Neil Prenderville got away with openly masturbating on an Aer Lingus flight... Why? Because he was in England at the time: "While the DPP declined to give a reason for not prosecuting Mr Prendeville - who apologised for the incident of which he says he has no memory due to a combination of drink and painkillers - the female witnesses were told it was due to a jurisdictional technicality. For certain offences - such as jeopardising the safety of the aircraft, passengers, property and good order or discipline on board - jurisdiction is defined at the moment the door of the aircraft is closed. For others - such as causing offence to any person on board - jurisdiction is determined at the moment power is applied for take-off. Aviation law expert Richard Martin said that as the incident occurred while the aircraft was taxiing to the runway, prior to commencing take-off, Mr Prendeville would have been subject to British, not Irish law, in relation to committing an act likely to cause offence"... That Niamh Hennessy, the Examiner journalist who was seated beside him during his display, said: "I am horrified and dismayed that Mr Prendeville is not to be prosecuted for his appalling and totally unacceptable actions. This incident has caused me much hurt and I can only wonder what kind of message this gives out to people who may find themselves in a similar situation in the future"... That Ashley Cole will not be sacked from Chelsea for shooting an intern with a .22 air rifle... Manager Carlo Ancelotti said: "Obviously we are not happy with what happened but I have spoken with [Cole] - he was really disappointed, he said sorry, he made a mistake, it was an accident. Now obviously we are taking proper action but tomorrow he will play and I think he is in focus to play a good game"... That, of Cheryl Cole appearing on the US X Factor, Perez Hilton said: "I think it would be disastrous if Simon Cowell gave Cheryl Cole a place on the judging panel. She shouldn't get it. No-one really knows who Cheryl is over here and I doubt anyone would understand her accent. Why would Simon go for a nobody if he can get someone like Mariah Carey or Christina Aguilera to join the show? The judges should be Mariah, Christina, Simon and me - 4 massive divas"... See, even Perez knows Simon's gay... That Daniel Radcliffe is torn between two loves - his Broadway show How To Succeed in Acting Business Without Really Trying and Harry Potter PR duties: "Warner Bros. is furious that Radcliffe committed to Broadway when he should be promoting 'Harry Potter.' This is the final film, so it's a big deal. A grand world premiere is being planned as well as a US premiere and a press tour. They absolutely couldn't do it without their big star. But the theater producers dug their heels in and said they wouldn't release Radcliffe unless Warner bought out the entire theater for the nights they need him. Studio bosses are furious, but they have no choice but to pay up for five nights costing over $500,000"...  That Brooke Mueller, having come to her senses, has regained custody of her twin boys and slapped a restraining order on Charlie Sheen... She told the court that, while staying in his house last week with the nanny and the porn star, Sheen had threatened to stab her in the eye with an ice pick, and also said: "I will cut your head off, put it in a box and send it to your mom". While in court, Brooke said: "I am very concerned that Sheen is currently insane (no sh*t). I am in great fear that he will find me and attack me and I am in great fear for the children's safety while in his care... He rarely saw our children since our December 25 domestic incident and only recently began to show any interest in them". Brooke is currently in day rehab, so she has her mother looking after the twin boys... That Charlie Sheen's joined Twitter yesterday and already has 788,422 people following his breakdown... That Brian McFadden has said he will donate all the proceeds from his new single to the "victims of rape" after some outlets suggested his song Just The Way You Are (Drunk At The Bar) promoted date rape... Here's another red carpet event that was ignored thanks to the Oscars... That Charlie Stubbs (far left) is doing a Benjamin Button...

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