That, if you've not been suckered into the whole X Factor thing, there's little else to be holding your interest today: Kelly Osbourne's thoughts on Cheryl Cole, anyone?... That Sepp Blatter lookalike, Dominque Strass-Kahn, has been rewarded for forcing himself on a maid; he's permitted to stay in a $50,000 a month townhouse in New York's swanky Tribeca area... The only downside for him is there's no female staff maintaining the property... That Lindsay Lohan's house arrest is just as strenuous; she doesn't have to wear an alcohol/drug monitoring bracelet, she's permitted as many guests as she likes a day; and was last seen accepting a delivery of art supplies... That Amy Winehouse has been told by The Priory's resident professionals that she'll meet her maker if she doesn't clean up her act: "It's the last chance saloon for Amy. Doctors have come down hard on her because of the severity of her situation. It's a harsh reality but she had to hear it"... The Sun reports: "Her boozing meant she was unable to accompany film director Reg to the red carpet premiere of his new movie Screwed last night in London"... She was there in spirit... That, of undergoing electroconvulsive therapy for depression, Carrie Fisher said: "It just puts you to sleep. There's no convulsions. It actually really helps; I don't have to take as much medication. It gets a bad rap. The only way it's showed in films is as a punishment"... That, of repeatedly calling presenter Ben Douglas a n***** at The BAFTAS, celebrity hairdresser/muppet James Brown (pictured here heading off on a jaunt with Kate Moss last weekend) issued the following statement: "I'd like to make a public apology to Mr Douglas, to his friends and to Bafta for my offensive and stupid comments. The simple truth is that I had drunk far too much on the evening and my behaviour was totally unacceptable. Everyone who knows me knows I am not racist in any way whatsoever, but this incident has shown me that my drinking is way out of control and I need to take urgent measures to deal with it. I have been in touch with Mr Douglas and will be writing to him and to the Bafta organisers to apologise personally. I am very sorry and very embarrassed"... Somewhere, Davinia Taylor is dancing...
