I wonder did Evan Rachel Wood and Dita Von Teese proffer any pleasantries when they happened across each other at the *inhales deeply* Fashion Group International's 26th annual Night Of Stars at Cipriani Wall Street last night.
Evan Rachel Wood: Oh. Hello, Dita.
Dita Von Teese: Hello Evan. Rachel. Evan Rachel. ER. Whatever you refer to yourself as.
ERW: You're looking surprisingly perky, given the no bra and you're over a decade older than me. Did you get the ladies done again?
DVT: A lady never tells. While we're being civil - creative use of the hotel room drapes. Scarlett O'Hara would be impressed. Did you learn that in your Home Economics class?
ERW: Bite me, grandma
DVT: Weren't you like my mini-me for approximately two years? Watch your tongue or I'll put you over my knee.
ERW: Ugh, again?
DVT: Speaking of blatant copycats, did Gwen Stefani come as a Can-Can girl in a DIY skirt. Did she train it to pull itself up at the front? How novel. And it has just the right hint of crotch. A lady never shows her crotch, Evan Rachel. Learn from the master.
ERW: Well, not since a certain shoot with a Playboy Playmate Alley Baggett in a 1999 lesbian themed photoshoot. Hedgehog much?
DVT: Oh. You're embarrassing me. Stop it. If I blush and it permeates my pan stick that's my mystique shattered. Anyway, the Jay Sisters had yet to invent the Brazilian, kiddo.
ERW: I'm done with you now. I'd much rather feel superior to this person. So, you won an award. For what? Managing to outrun Madonna after you stole her ill-advised felt scrunchy ear things?
DVT: Oh, please, honey. Learn from the master. What you need to do is pick on someone who's really asking for it. Choose an easy target to start with.
ERW: Minnie Mouse isn't an easy target?
DVT: Not when this is in the vicinity.
OK, Grace? From one tumbleweed tressed redhead to another - don't use a normal brush to brush your hair. And NEVER brush your hair while it's dry. If you must use a hairdryer, ALWAYS use a diffuser. Finally, and most importantly, SERUM IS YOUR FRIEND.