Given most of today's redtops are devoting their front pages to a story we covered yesterday... *buffs nails*, I'm kind of at a loss regarding today's fodder...
Most of the online tabloids are covering the 'Jordan banged into a bollard' story, and what's clearly a load of disposed tires masquerading as a "THE NEW NESSY?!!?", so we might have to go with the former. Apologies.
The long and the short of it is, she was in the West End, catching Blood Brothers, and her car was swarmed by fans/zombies. So distracted was her driver that he glanced into a bollard and a 14-year-old boy's leg. While the boy was rushed off to hospital for treatment; a traffic dude wrote a ticket; while Jordan crawled into a garment and sloped back into the theatre to avoid the "melee." And, for some reason, WENN decided to highlight her already overexposed crotch.
Apparently the reason behind her jaunt to the West End was three fold. 1: "Jordan had headed out to see pal Natasha Hamilton's debut in Blood Brothers". 2: "The star - real name Katie Price - was celebrating being cleared over a burn suffered by daughter Princess, three." 3: She just wanted to be photographed in the West End wearing a Red Nose.
So thrilled was Jordan regarding being cleared of child abuse, she released this statement (obviously not penned by her own hand, what is?) on her website, entitled "Princess and the Police"...
"I am naturally delighted that the police have concluded their investigation into the minor burn that Princess sustained while she was in Klosters. The police have informed me that, having looked into this, that they are satisfied that the account provided of how the injury was sustained and the nature of that injury was accurate. It follows that they consider there are no child protection issues. I am so relieved at the police findings - even though I knew that Princess had received no injury that warranted anything more than the most basic of treatment and that this injury was sustained in a fluke accident having the police investigate and seeing headlines about child abuse and my ex-husband (that being Peter) being 'horrified' at what he called a 'bad' burn have caused a terrific strain. Dan Wootton of the News of the World claimed that Princess had been ‘badly burnt’ and that 'it is far more serious than Jordan has publicly indicated' (Mr. Wootton also tweeted that Princess burn was 'NOT minor, despite what she said') and my family has been traumatised, not least my wonderful mother (?!) whose care Princess was in. Much as I would like to think that those that shamefully put this minor accident into the public domain and suggested I lied about the nature of the injury will apologise I am a realist. Although I am naturally disappointed with the way my ex-husband has behaved in relation to this incident I want to make clear that I consider him to be a good father to Princess and Junior. I hope he believes the same of me and that Princess and Junior can now be allowed to grow up out of the public domain and without being the centre of such allegations."
And there's a load of other dirge, involving her flirting with one of Alex's "rival cage fighter" who's approximately 20-years-old but we've had enough swill for one day, don't you think.