Waterford is on 'high seagull alert' after a series of vicious attacks from a lone bird, who has been terrorising locals.
If this were the Homeland Security Advisory System, then the terror alert status in Waterford would be white, for seagull. Or perhaps red seeing as that was the highest level and suggests the most seagull-related danger. We don't know, we're yet to devise a Homeland Seagull Advisory chart, but we'll get right on it.
Anyway, it seems that Waterford have at least a skeleton of one in place as they've issued a 'high seagull alert' for residents who live near Dunmore road, where one bird, perched atop a lamp post, has been swooping down and causing panic on the streets of Lismore, panic on the streets of Bunmahon, Dunhill, Dunmore, Abbeyside...
According to WLR FM Waterford, the seagull, who goes by the name Jonathan (we presume after Jonathan Livingston Seagull) has attacked a few joggers, as well as those who are foolish enough to pass by his perch with an ice cream or a sandwich in hand. The most terrifying part is, of course, the fact that Jonathan seems to laugh after his attacks, which is truly chilling.
Pic via WLR FM
Local residents are encouraged to stay seagull aware, and keep tuned to WLR FM for more updates on the latest news gull-etins, as they will have the beak-ing news as it happens.