Last night saw the World Premiere of the latest 3D CGI fest to accost cinema screens - A Christmas Carol.

Apparently the guests that garnered the biggest roar of approval from the crowd were *drumrolls* Jedward. According to The Sun and The Mirror, the twins' presence caused a ruckus, while that of the film's stars - Jim Carrey, Bob Hoskins andMr. D'Arcy- only roused a wee rumble. Some other folk from the X Factor house turned up too - like the dude with the annoying hair/pocket rag combo who murdered U2 the week before last; the sulky dude; the Dermot O'Leary on roids dude; the shiny-haired warbling bore; the one in need of elocution lessons; and Cheryl Cole's younger brother. The Welsh David Beckham was no doubt nursing his throat somewhere indoors.

Other guests made a point of observing the unspoken rule of 'the amount of talent corresponds with the amount of clothing on display.' Hence why Andrea Bocelliturned up like this, while Kimberly Wyatt of the Pussycat Dolls made a point of showcasing a hint of underbap, and the fact that she chose to forgo pants. Sure, who needs to wear clothes in 8 degree temperatures? *coughsthosewhohaveNOTHINGinterestingtosayforthemselves*. The Saturdayswore marginally more garments, huddling together for heat, while everyone else dressed appropriately for the cold November climes... (some even wore expressions, like this one, which is [barely] cloaking their real emotion - something along the lines of "Man, I'm bored") Oh, with the exception of Konnie Huqand Stacey X Factor. And perhaps Peter Andreand Nicola McClean. Here's how that conversation went:

Not Jordan: "Hiya Pete."
Peter Andre: "Cripes! Katie?!"
Not Jordan: "Noooo. It's me, Boobs McGinty from I'm Kind've a Celebrity? Not the Jordan. The other Jordan, who also makes ridiculous sums of money out of folk who like modified numbskulls? The one you invited to stay wiv you in Marbella a while back to piss the other Jordan off?"
Peter Andre: "Oooh. Right. G'day Boobs... Man, you look so like her, it's insania."
Not Jordan: "Yeeaah. OK, I fink they got enough photos of us togevah now, and these singing kids are getting right on my wage earners. Gis a tinkle on the blower if you want to rattle the 'orse again. Ta-ra!"
Peter Andre: "Bonza!"