This has not been the best week to be Kanye West, between his recent twitter spat with Jimmy Kimmell (full details HERE) and then getting his ALL CAPS TWEETS sung out by Josh Groban (deets on that right HERE), but this all kicked off with the hour long interview of Kanye by BBC2’s Zane Lowe.

The full interview can be found below, and almost every single line out of Kanye’s mouth is absolute comedy gold, but for those of you who don’t have an hour to spare, we’ve taken what we think were the highlights, and divided them up into different categories of madness. Enjoy! (Oh, and beware, here be some bad language!)

His Mental Health Needs A New Workout Plan!

“Just going to the Lourve, and just going to furniture exhibitions… and just trying understand that!” Trying to understand … furniture?

“My Truman Show boat has just hit the wall! We making product with chitlins!” I honestly had to look up the word “chitlins”, and apparently it means pig intestines. So Kanye is making products out of pig intestines. So there’s that now.

“You don’t realise, I am so frustrated. I’ve got ideas on color palettes, ideas on silhouettes!” Poor Kanye, he’s so creative, if only he was rich and famous enough to find an outlet for all his burgeoning works.

“Dopeness is what I like most.” His answer when asked What Is Your Favourite Thing In Life?

He’s Out Of His Beautiful, Dark, Twisted Mind!

“People ask who I am? I told you! A god! Would it be better if I said I’m a ni**a? Or a pimp? All those colours and patinas fit better on a person like me, right?” Again, had to look up the word “patinas”, but disappointingly, it just means a colour palette.

“I’m a postmodernist, at best, as a career. I’m a futurist, mentally.” What? Just….. WHAT??

“I had an office in a small courtyard across the street from Colette where I couldn’t even find a good pattern cutter. That’s why we were in Paris. I’ve got a very particular, specific take on men’s footwear. No one can say I cannot design, or understand how to design, a guy’s sneaker.” This was his answer when asked about how Ni**as In Paris was written.

 

Yeezus Christ, He’s Actually Insane!

“I want to do product. I am a product person. Not just music and clothing, but water bottle design and architecture.” Yes, thank God for Kanye, otherwise we’d all be accidentally popping our own eyes out with our current shoddily designed water bottles.

“If you’re a Kanye West fan, you’re not a fan of me, you’re a fan of yourself. I’m just the espresso of your own life!” HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA……..

“I am the glitch, just like Vanellope Von Schweetz! And she was on the side of the game! They broke Vanellope’s car!” For anyone who hasn’t seen Wreck-It Ralph, this must seem like the rantings of a mad man. But trust me, as someone who has seen Wreck-It Ralph, that opinion is still correct.

“It’s funny, you drive in a Maybach past a homeless person and your ask yourself: Who’s more free?” Oh Kanye… No. Just… no.

 

Of course, Zane Lowe didn’t come off too great either, barely able to take a breath between spelunking expeditions into Kanye’s ego, and saying things like “I was wil’in’ out!” and “This album has been out for a minute!”, which no self-respecting 40 year old man should EVER say. But this really is The Kanye West Show, and it needs to be seen to be believed. So put an hour aside over the weekend and watch the interview in full below, we promise it’s more entertaining than just about anything else you’ll get up to.