'Red Notice' is about as good as you'd expect, which is not very

The worlds of an Interpol agent (Dwayne Johnson) and two rival art thieves (Ryan Reynolds, Gal Gadot) collide as all three go in search of Cleopatra’s priceless eggs.

‘Red Notice’ is nothing more or less than exactly what you’d expect – a sequence of loosely tied together action scenes, smart aleck (but not particularly intelligent or original) dialogue, and three stars playing to type.

Everything about ‘Red Notice’ feels clichéd and forced as they write Dwayne to sound smart and Ryan sneaky. The entire movie feels like a box ticking exercise and is all action action action. There’s a car chaser about 10 minutes into movie, and within 15 minutes there’s a double cross (don’t worry, plenty more of those to come in the finale), after which we’re flown off to Russia, because that’s where bad guys go, obviously. And since they’re in prison, yes you can expect a prison fight and some elaborate and ridiculous prison breakout scene.

We’re introduced to Gadot in a stylish furry cap (since we’re still in Russia), her entrance cuing an “explaining how I did it” montage. Banal lines like “I’m not angry, just disappointed” and “fool me once” appear within the one scene, as well as terrible jokes like one where the two men mix up Richard and David Attenborough. We’re also treated to some terribly flat singing from Gadot as she sings “Downtown” - but at least it’s not “Imagine”).

‘Red Notice’ relies pretty much entirely on its audience wanting familiarity, sticking everything we’ve seen in cinema in a 2 hour long showcase. That familiarity includes those actors, who are working with the most two-dimensional of characters. Ryan Reynolds gives snappy one liners, mocking himself and those he shares the screen with, as well as driving his partner nuts with all his chatter. You’ve Gal Gadot kicking keisters, and they’ve even managed to write Dwayne Johnson into a jungle because damn, does Johnson look good in khakis against a jungle backdrop.

Also there’s a cameo from a musician and we’ll bet you can get it in three guesses. An extremely predictable finale rounds it all off and what more can we say? At least we’ve given plenty of notice for what to expect.

'Red Notice' is showing in select cinemas from Friday, 5 November. It arrives on Netflix on 12 November.