Star Rating:

Friday The 13th

Director: Marcus Nispel

Actors: Danielle Panabaker, Derek Mears, Jared Padalecki, Travis Van Winkle

Release Date: Wednesday 30th November 2016

Genre(s): Horror

Running time: 97 minutes

Another horror franchise gets a rebooting, as this 80's slasher flick is "reimagined" by the man responsible for 2003's Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Marcus Nispel. While it did spawn a bogey man very much of the iconic status, Friday the 13th was never a particularly strong film, and certainly doesn't rank alongside genre classics Halloween and Chainsaw, but it did exude a certain charm. Pioneering the killer POV, with that creepy echo-like soundtrack, were two of the things it was most known for; but Nispel barely utilises those innovative shock techniques here, and instead gives us a 'roided looking Jason Voorhees, with a concoction of weapons and mammy issues. The plot involves your 'typical beautiful, naked, college kids being slaughtered in various ways' scenario, that has more holes than one of the aforementioned recently slain teens, who's just had a run in with our pissed off psychopath. But, c'mon, for movies of this ilk we don't frown on stupidity, we damn well applaud it and, if there's an annoying character, we'll await their inevitable messy demise with baited breath. This isn't a particularly strong slasher flick, even for a remake, but it's slickly shot, and has cheap scares and gore aplenty. Cast wise it pretty much boils down to who was willing to take the most clothes off. There's no Jessica Biel nudity clause here, as the moderately explicit sex scenes are used almost as much as the jugular slicing. Our lean, perky heroes hump, drink, do drugs and then meet the business end of a machete. If the movie lacks anything it's a truly terrifying villain; Jason is no different than the masked assailant in the recent My Bloody Valentine 3D, and that had pointy stuff coming out of the screen. We hardly require a personality, but a foreboding presence would've been nice, compared to just a bulky stuntman in a hockey mask. When Nispel remade The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, purists bemoaned the sodomising of a classic, despite an enjoyable effort; this, ironically, isn't as good as that remake, but is still worth a gander for those in search of a brainless horror.