We've all been in a situation where a particularly steamy sex scene comes on - pardon the pun - and you're caught watching it with your grand-Aunt Molly. Well, if you're angry and alone this Valentine's Day, or if you're looking to drop a subtle hint to your significant other, here's some steamy choices for your Valentine's weekend...
7. BASIC INSTINCT - Basically all of it
It might be famous for that one scene with Sharon Stone's hoo-ha, but the whole film is laced with various erotic overtones. In fact, the film itself is the perfect blend of sex and violence that Paul Verhoeven seems to utilise again and again in all his films. You've also got Showgirls - which features further down the list - as an example of Verhoeven's use of sex and violence. Our favourite scene in this? The bit with your one from Just Shoot Me. Yeah, it gets real.
6. ATONEMENT - "I've never done anything like that before."
You've got to hand it to Keira Knightley. Her posh accent in this is pretty spot-on. Not for nothing, but so is James McAvoy's as well. Atonement is a sweeping love story of a young man, falsely accused of rape, who is sent to World War I. This particular scene, however, occurs towards the start of the film and is the catalyst for pretty much everything. Knightley's character's sister - played by Saorise Ronan - sees McAvoy and Knightley humping and doesn't understand it. It's all romantic and sad and lots of heavy breathing, too.
5. CRAZY STUPID LOVE - “Is this how it normally works?”
Not gonna lie – if Ryan Gosling pulled this shit on us, we'd probably be a gibbering mess as well. So Emma Stone's super-defensive speech beforehand is just hilarious and then, when he takes the shirt off and then does the whole Dirty Dancing thing. Would that actually work, though? In reality, like. Of course it wouldn't. We're not Ryan Gosling. We don't have abs like that. Speaking of Dirty Dancing...
4. DIRTY DANCING - “The reason people treat me like I'm nothing is because I am nothing...”
For a women of a certain age, Patrick Swayze in Dirty Dancing is just the ultimate fantasy. Is it the hair? Is it the dancing? It must be the dancing. We're sure of it. *enrols in swing dancing classes*
3. WILD THINGS - “Guidance counsellors get to find out all sorts of interesting things...”
Neve Campbell. Denise Richards. Matt Dillon. In a film that has a plot that makes absolutely no sense whatsoever. And Kevin Bacon turns up for a few minutes too. It's like the 90's is having an orgy with itself. Unsurprisingly, a video clip of it can only be found in areas of the Internet where you're likely to be bombarded with ads for dodgy-as-shit online casinos and Hot Young Singles In Your Area.
2. BODY HEAT – “You're not too smart, are you?”
If you've never watched Body Heat, you need to pour yourself a big glass of wine, watch it and then jump in a cold shower after you're done. The whole film is just one big steamy mess about murder, sex, implied anal and William Hurt's moustache and we absolutely love it. It's all filled with smoky jazz and unironic facial hair, not to mention being one of the most impressive directorial debuts. Lawrence Kasdan had, up to this, been writing small films like Raiders Of The Lost Ark and The Empire Strikes Back. A great cast including William Hurt and Kathleen Turner, who is just smoking hot in this. Geddit? She smokes a lot in this. Ahem.
1. SHOWGIRLS - Again, basically all of it
A film so bad, it's taken on new life as a “so bad it's good” comedy, Showgirls was all about excess. It's set in Vegas. It had Kyle MacLachlan when he was popular and working on Twin Peaks. You had Elizabeth Berkley and her hair. You had Gina Gershon and her everything. It was crazy. None more crazy than the infamous pool scene with Kyle MacLachlan and Elizabeth Berkley where she had some sort of seizure.