Juvenile pop of a title, yes, but in keeping with the company in this instance.

You might recall Brian's "KERRY KATONA, YOU ARE DEAD TO ME" Twitter rant from Monday  (in the likely event that you've banished it from your brain, here it is again. Apologies). Well, he's come across with an explanation of sorts... as if one were required:

"I was so infuriated when I read it and it was so typical. I just lost it and [went] straight on Twitter. You know probably the things I said, if I had've sat down and thought about it and spoke to a journalist about it, I wouldn't have said it... But at the end of the day I spoke from the heart. I was angry and I got my point across. I might have been a bit over-the-top, but at least I got my point across and I got to vent."

Yep, you got to vent, that's the main thing, bugger the consequences, just continue being a vacuous lump judging pole dancers on the Australian version of Britain's Got Talent, tell me, have your daughters learned how to read yet?

Speaking of which, Brian and Kerry are "to come face-to-face (or fa'head to "pig face mole") at their daughter's upcoming Holy Communion: "Brian knows this is a big deal for his little girls and promised he would do his utmost to come back to be there for them. This was being planned way before Kerry started kicking off... He wants to confront her about what she's doing and demand she stop involving him. Brian has promised his mum that he will do his best not to flare up in front of the kids."