I'm aware that the further spreading of this bile across the internet could be seen as merely adding to the problem of useless people spouting shite, but let's take it as a lesson of how not to exist as parents/human beings in general.

Firstly, Kerry had an interview with the News of The World in which she said her ex-husband "only calls his kids about five times a year", before claiming that their seven-year-old, Lily Sue, "doesn't really know who he is." She also hinted she wasn't too thrilled when she learned "Brian cavorted with a lapdancer on his stag do", saying: "That killed it for me. I loved Brian and I trusted him. I remember thinking: 'But he's the fat one from Westlife. Why would he do this to me?'"

Brian - exhibiting immense restraint, foresight, maturity, and dignity - took his quivering, rage fuelled fingers to the internet and pounded out the following Tweets:

"A certain pig face mole has suggested my own daughter Lilly doesn't know me and that I never speak to my kids.... FACT... I call my girls at least twice a week, and have a beautiful relationship with my daughters (from the other side of the world)... and call me fat! Take bowl of mayonnaise drenched chips out of your face and look in the mirror!... (Brian obviously isn't aware that this is what Kerry is currently seeing in the mirror)... Wish certain f***s would stop selling their stories to rags and find a real job. Not one that means you shove kids face in front of a camera... This happened the last time my career started to go well. Certain person did her absolute best to destroy me and drag me down. Not this time.... Kerry Katona (mother of his two daughters)... YOU ARE DEAD TO ME! Sorry about the rant guys. I've kept my silence too long and I can't keep it anymore... it's killing me and my beautiful fiancee and mum and dad and my friends. ENOUGH!"

Yeah, poor you, the beautiful fiancée (who's half a world away "working"), your mum and your dad and your friends and your precious "career" and your... no mention of the kids, no? Right so.