68th Golden Globes - Red Carpet Gallery

Ah, the Golden Globes (the winners of which you can see here), the first premier red carpet event of the year, where telly stars get to mingle with Hollywood royalty. Exactly like the IFTAS...

Gown wise, things weren't that mental, which must've been a bit of a letdown for E! Apparently, when covering the red carpet last night, they employed a 'Glam Cam 360', which took the victim and spun them around like an airport body scanner... the fellah informed me of this; I was in the land of nod after a unusually hectic weekend (headed over to Edinburgh for a laid back "baby shower" type scenario for a friend - lunches, spa treatments, etc - and somehow ended up in a full on lesbian club in the wee hours of Sunday morning having dance offs with the locals. According to the flyer I pulled out of my pocket during this morning's Dart journey, we were being treated to the sounds of "DJ Trendy Wendy" at Velvet, 36 Blair Street.)

Apologies, dresses, dresses. Fishtails were de rigueur. My favourite was clad on the body of Eva Longoria. Black, nice plunging neck line, and capped sleeves for the bingos (her's, not mine). Her fishtail, however, is a little splayed, you'd definitely run the risk of trippage. Amy Adams, Edi Falco, Julia Stiles, Hailee Steinfeld, and Kevin McHale also nailed it. The jury's still debating Megan Fox.

Apart from that, nothing titillated the fancy much. Helena Bonham Carter wore a variation on her usual mystical-bag-lady-serving-wench-of-a-bygone-era theme, but this time with different coloured shoes. Diana Aragon, Kayley Cuoco, Tilda Swinton (she should just come in a test tube next year), Milla Jovovich, and Nicole Kidman went for the pallid look (nice to see Keith is still being tickled by her "I've tried Botox but don't use it any more. I'm completely natural" statement. No, her eyebrows have always acted in such a fashion), as did Scarlett Johansson.

Speaking of Scarlett, she came with a male date. Fellow recent divorcees-to-be, Longoria and Sandra Bullock (pretty, however, the combination of hair and dress frill make her shoulders appear hunched around her ears), largely walked the red carpet solo, if not with a female friend, whereas Scarlett rocked up armed with a bloke with an impressive third leg.Take that, Ryan.

Another theme from the evening was green. Elisabeth Moss, Angelina Jolie, and Mila Kunis all opted for Mother Nature's preferred hue. Catherine Zeta Jones took things to another plane by arriving swaddled in a rolling Welsh meadow. Not to be outdone, Mila employed some freshly churned wheatgrass as a train and such was the weight of it a chirpy aide had to come to her rescue. Natalie Portman - who's suddenly gone from being reportedly pregnant to full on preggers - kept things a bit different and went with a mutant rose to keep her ensemble together.

Of course, where there's an abundance of flora there will be fauna, so behold nature's stick insects - Jayma Mays, and Guliana Rancic. Thankfully Kelly Osbourne and Lea Michele are looking slightly more normal of late.

The final theme of the evening was busy. Busy was very busy, in a casual way, which is strange. Katie Lee also opted for the busy for beachwear look, as did Gabourey Sidibe. Michelle Williams' offering reminds me of shower curtains from Avoca. And, unfortunately, this is all we get to see of Christina Hendrick's offering.Then there were the seriously busy gowns, complete with eye-shattering sequins and hypnotic frills. Hello to you, Anne Hathaway, Jennifer Lawrence, Amber Riley, and Olivia Wilde. At least the latter kept things subtle with her shoes.