Has to be said, it was very tame this year. You'd really miss Lady GaGa being carried up the red carpet in a giant alien egg. You'd really miss Lady GaGa full stop. No Rihanna dressed as a loo brush either. That's why, this year, the main offender is FINALLY Katy Perry. She's usually in the top three worst dressed at the Grammys, but this year she reigns supreme.

Yep, and it's not even that bad. True, she looks like she's been getting hitched in Vegas, complete with the rotting corpse of Britney's stage serpent wrapped round her head, but it's not that bad. We're just picking holes because that's what we're meant to do in this situations.

Next up is Madonna, who brought her MIni-Me in the form of David Banda. To reinforce the ethics of things parents should impart to their younglings, she chose to sport a knuckleduster ring comprising of the word 'ME'.

Yes, her trousers have eaten her feet, which was a look favoured in the 70s and the 90s. By Madonna's stylist's calculations, that means they're about to come back in fashion right about now. Madonna's stylist would be wrong. We barely got away with that the second time round in the 90s.

Following this pair is Paula Patton, AKA her of the 'Walking Side Vagina' at the Golden Globes. This was Paula's chance to redeem herself. Instead, she came as a rug honed from the flesh of a zebra that had been mutilated by two lions.

Paula's effort was a hard act to follow, but Paris Hilton manages to do a fine job. She's trying to be demure, all Downton at the front and provocative at the back, yet - somehow - she just manages to look like a seahorse by way of a show pony owned by Crystal Carrington. That's impressive and unnerving at the same time. 

On the whole, Alicia Keys looks nice, and she knows she looks nice; there's just too big a gap in this Armani Prive dress for my liking.

And, proving that you don't just have to get the dress wrong to get on this list is one Bonnie McKee, AKA Dip Dye Gone Awry.