"That was a time when I started therapy"
As the weeks narrow down to the final ever season of 'Game of Thrones', its stars are on the publicity trail reflecting on the series as a whole.
In an interview with Variety this week, Kit Harington reveals the self-doubt that plagued him in the early days of playing Jon Snow and how he struggled to cope when the show began to focus more on his character.
"My memory is always 'the boring Jon Snow'. And that got to me after a while, because I was like, 'I love him. He's mine and I love playing him'. Some of those words that were said about it stuck in my craw about him being less entertaining, less showy."
Kit went on to discuss the impact of that famous season 5 cliffhanger - when Jon Snow was murdered by some of his fellow men of the Night's Watch. (The heartbreak of it all, you can read our review of that fateful episode here.) What followed was a year of speculation and theories over whether his character would somehow be brought back or not, which of course he was in season six.
"My darkest period was when the show seemed to become so much about Jon, when he died and came back,". Harington said. "I really didn’t like the focus of the whole show coming onto Jon — even though it was invalidating my problem about being the weak link because things were about Jon."
He went on to say: "When you become the cliffhanger of a TV show, and a TV show probably at the height of its power, the focus on you is f—ing terrifying," he said.
"You get people shouting at you on the street, ‘Are you dead?’ At the same time, you have to have this appearance. All of your neuroses — and I’m as neurotic as any actor — get heightened with that level of focus."
It was a professional and a personal challenge for the actor: "It wasn’t a very good time in my life," he said. "I felt I had to feel that I was the most fortunate person in the world, when actually, I felt very vulnerable. I had a shaky time in my life around there - like I think a lot of people do in their 20s. That was a time when I started therapy, and started talking to people. I had felt very unsafe, and I wasn’t talking to anyone. I had to feel very grateful for what I have, but I felt incredibly concerned about whether I could even f—ing act."
Harington now is in a place where he can feel proud of what he achieved as Jon Snow. "I now look back and I go, well, I was a f—ing integral part of that whole thing," Harington said. "Jon was, and I am, and I’m proud of it. It took me a long time to not think, I’m the worst thing in this."
You can see Kit Harington in the final season of 'Game of Thrones' when it airs here on April 15th on Sky Atlantic.