Coronation Street: Of all the people I wouldn't confide in off Corrie, Eva would come top of the list. That's probably why Kylie decided to tell her she was planning an abortion. Next thing you know, a gleeful David was fishing her discarded pregnancy test out of the bin, much like Phoebe did in Friends many moons ago, and rushing off to the abortion clinic for the second time in his short life "before it's too late." Kylie didn't go through with it, so there was a lot of pained expressions courtesy of Sir Wincealot, Nick. Carla decide after much meddling from Rob that it was best to have her conniving brother onside, so she mades him an offer; Karl found out that Sunita was instrumental in Stella finding out about their affair, so he got legless at Aadi and Asha's party and pretty much highlighted further how desperate females in soapland are; while Tyrone's secret phone went for a hop down the side of the sofa before his stag night. Did Kirsty find it??!! That's irrelevant as Monday's wedding is going ahead regardless. But, yes, she did, and she had a right wobbler when she read all the texts off Fiz.
Emmerdale: Oh for the love of all humanity, can we just put the 'Dastardly (Megan) and Muttley (Robbie) try diddle Declan out of money storyline' to bed. Please. This week, Robbie felt betrayed by his mother's perceived allegiances to her brother, only for her to leave Declan 'devastated'. Jacob went above and beyond the call of duty to get Alicia and David back together (despite them never being together in the first place), which lead to the inevitable confrontation between his mum and Priya. Thankfully some low cut tops were involved. Debbie got an idea for a new business (if only it were a spouse vetting agency) when Dom made himself available to her (she plans to diddle him); while Edna was left yet more isolated after refusing help from Paddy.
EastEnders: Dot returned home and was mortified to discover her doting granddaughter Lauren using her home for *ahems* extra-curricular activities. Then there's that whole business involving Cora not paying the rent… Zainab and Denise gave Pakistan's answer to Cheryl Cole conflicting advice on men and dating, completely unaware that Ayesha is in love with Masood (again highlighting just how desperate females are in soapland). Ray became increasingly irritated by Kim, who is still hopelessly in love with him; Kat and Roxy came to blows while the former was cleaning The Vic, and Alfie was forced to choose a side - because women in soap spend 95% of their time fighting over men. Elsewhere, Lola took an instant liking to Dexter. However, she was slightly thrown by his reaction to Lexi.
Fair City: Bela's heartbreak deepened as his children betrayed him - and that's before Rita's will is even read in public. She cut Bela out of it. Rachel, on the other hand, did rather well for herself. Judith packed a bag, and announced to her husband that she's spending the night with his brother Blackie Connors. Crushed, Tommy copped that he pushed her to do this. Darren started his cheesy campaign to woo Neasa by presenting her with flowers, while a jealous Caoimhe tried to stick her oar in. Elsewhere, Suzanne and Damien got a bit too close for comfort. They'll be back beating each other with hair brushes in no time.
Soapy Bits: your weekly recap.
Story by Sheena McGinley | 15:45 | Friday 18th January 2013 | TV News