So, the worst dressed could be boxed off as the following: Anyone who stars in Emmerdale.
Wowsers. Sian Reese-Williams (Gennie) is the lining of a cheap swimming pool. The shape of the dress is complimentary, it's just the material that's driving us nuts. It's like an outfit our Rockstar Barbies used to wear. Gaynor 'Megan' Faye, you resemble wall paper paneling in a beauty salon. Fiona 'Priya' Wade, Bodycon dresses are so 2010. Natalie 'Alicia' Anderson, don't keep the ladies under wraps, we do enjoy them behind the Woolly bar, and this is a bit Mary Tyler Moore for our liking. Lastly, good tidings fair maiden Victoria, would you like a go off my lute?
And on to Corrie... Samia 'Maria' Ghadie, we know you're really slim now that you're pretending to date that fellah off Dancing on Ice, but did you really have to squeeze yourself into a Liquorice Allsort? Michelle 'Stella' Collins looks like she wriggled into two dresses, opting for the top half of one and the bottom half of the others. We're assuming Brooke 'Sophie' Vincent managed to keep herself contained all evening. Jenny 'Fiz' McAlpine, kudos for wearing a daring colour, but there's a reason why us redheads mostly wear black. We clash with stuff. Shobna 'Sunita' Gulati, you look quite nice, but I don't like you, so you're being thrown on the sh*t heap.
The EastEnders ladies were the best of a bad lot in, with Rachel 'Poppy' Bright and Jasmyne 'Alice' Banks looking just a little bit blue. Jo 'Tanya' Joyner has gone a bit Wiccan at best. Panto witch at worst. Shona 'Whitney' McGarty, again, it just looks a bit baggy, like it's made for a much taller person.
Now to the standalones. Helen Flanagan, the dress would be better matched with a Sunday brunch in springtime, but the cat ear headpiece has no place here. Perhaps you and Jo Joyner should have a conversation.
Sheridan Smith, it should look nice, but it doesn't. We think it's too much boob coupled with too much make up.
Fresh from her stint on The Great Comic Relief Bake Off, Julia Bradbury came trussed in tinfoil.
Melanie Sykes, these dresses give you lopsided boobs. I repeat, these dresses give you lopsided boobs. It's like wearing a bra that's half strapless and half plunge. It's never going to work.
Hiiiiyaa, Jorgie Porter, in yer nightie.
Kimberly Walsh, we know you've been through enough ridicule, but your arrival ensemble was too fussy, and the lace you can see along the seams is too thick.
Gemma Collins, we're not going to be as crass as some of the tabloids, and mention marquees, but perhaps the batwing approach isn't best suited to you at this time.
Others that you may not know, but deserve a mention, Wallis Day, Sophie McShera, and - of course - Cheyenne Pidgley
And lastly to our cover girl, Tulisa. Will you just try coming in a tracksuit next year? You just look too damn awkward in anything else. Then again, it's a vast improvement on last year, even if you did happen to flash your flesh coloured spanks at photographers earlier in the evening.
>NTA Red Carpet: and the best dressed were... Laura Whitmore, Christine Bleakley, Michelle Keegan...
>The National Television Awards: And the winners are...