It’s November, that means a number of things. Christmas is next week for the next six weeks, and it’s dark by 4pm most days so we’ll gladly watch any source of light flickering away - especially if it depicts people being tortured someplace sunny. Enter I’m a Celebrity… Get Me Out of Heeerree!!!!

Usually I wait until some other sterling source of news informs me who is who among the cast list, for usually half of the contestants are unrecogniseable. This year, that quotient has been upped by at least two thirds. For example, that isn't just some random bird being paid to promote bush wear, or hired totty to highlight the launch of the new series - she's actually a contestant on the this year's show. I skit you not.

We’ll start with the recognisables:
1) Freddie Star: who’s twice the man he used to be. That or the hamster he reportedly ate all those years ago has been growing inside him for the last two decades and is planning to release himself in the jungle.

2) Dougie Poynter: Filling the usual ailing boybander slot (recently vacated by Simon off Blue and the other one off Blue) is the very pretty bassist off McFly, whom I’ve always had a soft spot for. His inclusion comes as little surprise as the other member of McFly’s rhythm section is currently appearing in Strictly Come Dancing. All they need now is for Tom to appear on Dancing on Ice and we’ll have a full house.

3) Fatima Whitbread: AKA Sinitta’s mum. Funny how I was just talking about her last week... Gypsy Rosy Gee strikes again. And for those of you who don’t know her, yes, she used to throw stuff, mainly spears.

4) Mark Wright: I’ve never watched TOWIE *ducks* but I read enough rags to know he walks amongst them, and is fast looking to become the male version of the recently departed Jordan clone.

5) Stefanie Powers: 'DOOOO doo di doooooo, doooo dooo DI DDOOOOO, doo doo di doo dodiDOODOOO, DIDIDIDIDDLDLDIDIDIDIDDILLDLLLLLLLDIDIDOOO!' And so on. Filling the ‘Aging American Actor’ hat this year is Powers, AKA Jennifer Hart from Hart to Hart. She’s looking a little tweaked, but well nonetheless.

6) Antony Cotton: Now, this one’s a little confusing. Antony, you’ve already got a career in Coronation Street, why stoop so low? Do you want us to see you gag over a ‘Roo penis that much?

So that’s it. That’s all the names I recognise. Even the accompanying pictures don’t help. OK, this one is clearly some Page3 model/actress fodder of some sort, the name doesn’t really matter. AH, I knew I recognised this one, she used to play Stef off Emmerdale. Cockanay sparrah that tried to poison her father Alan to death.

My good friend Wikipedia informs me that Willie Carson used to be a jockey, while the last member into the bush is Crissy Rock, and she’s been in Benidorm.

Yeah, so that’s all the information we have to hand right now apart from the news that Ant and Dec have signed a new deal with ITV worth £10million. Apparently a source said: "Ant and Dec are a massive investment but they're worth every penny. "

That or they saw Simon Cowell doing something they shouldn’t have.