Eh, OK, really happy for Apple and Moses 'n all, but seriously - their mum and dad kind've put all of us through the wringer if they're just "on a break." Apologies but a small a part of me is roaring, "I DEMAND THEY SPLIT UP FOR GOOD, GODNAMMIT!"

According to Grazia Magazine, one of the unspecified terms of a 'conscious uncoupling' is that you can get back together whenever you want. Their source said: "It seems Gwyneth's had a change of heart. There's talk that she thinks this might be a six-month break while they explore other options and people. There are hints that the relationship isn't irretrievably broken... There are rumours their vacation became quite romantic by the end. Apparently, the whole family shared a suite."

Ah, so - in other words - they just want a very public six months off from each other where they can both have a go off a bit of strange, while also promoting their respective ventures, like her Goop website and his new album. I don't feel at all duped.

After enjoying their break-up holiday in the Bahamas, where they probably consciously uncoupled several times in a covert hammock, they were seen looking cosy at Robert Downey Jnr's birthday bash last week.

So, who would be on their wish list? I'm guessing Chris is going to hook up with Kirsten Dunst, while Gwynnie explores her lady admiration by having a whirl off her old mate Madonna, or Orlando Bloom. He's very pretty.