The Eagles' seventh studio album may well be their last, if Don Henley's recent assertions are anything to go by - so the soft-rock stalwarts are ensuring that their first studio album since 1979 will be venerated by releasing not one, but two discs of new material. Long Road Out Of Eden will be remembered, all right - but for all the wrong reasons. Possibly the most mundane, awful album you'll have heard in 2007, this hour-and-a-half-long epic exhibits every inch of its 28-year gestation period, with tracks on here that sound as outdated and archaic as Bon Jovi or Status Quo (then again, they were always naff). The Eagles have always been everyone's dad's favourite band, and there's nothing here that will alter that position - primarily because Henley, Frey and co. have refused to move with the times and are still peddling the same dismal MOR that they've always hawked. From the sub-Lonestar, rollicking country-tinged rock tunes (How Long, Guilty of the Crime, You Are Not Alone), to the many plodding, harmonic acoustic ditties (Do Something, Waiting In the Weeds), Long Road Out Of Eden is indeed, one long, long road that presumably leads to musical Hell. Even the song titles are embarrassing (see: I Love To Watch a Woman Dance, Busy Being Fabulous), and the self-indulgent guitar solos and cringeworthy lyrics are too copious to mention. It's hard to believe that anyone under the age of forty could be interested in this album. Truly, truly dire.
