Poor Sammy Sausages. That is really sh*t. Although one could argue he should've learned after his Lexus got nicked the first time.

The Herald reported last night that Alan woke up on Wednesday morning to find that his car had gone for a hop from outside his gaf. According to the paper: "The same vehicle was stolen last June after thieves raided the home he shares with hubbie Karl Broderick while he was on holidays - and it was subsequently used in two different robberies." Apparently it had been used to ram a Garda car while involved in a high-speed chase.

Despite this, Alan decided to stick with the Lexus. That'll learn him: "After that happened, I should really just have got rid of it and bought a little banger, something no one would be interested in stealing."

Another thing he won't be doing in a hurry is leaving his car keys on the hall table near his glass front door. Seemingly the thieves used a rod to worm it's way in through the letterbox to retrieve them: "The gardai re-enacted it themselves and were able to get the keys in a minute and they were saying, 'We're not professional burglars and we can do it'."

Recounting his ordeal, the Ballier native to the Indo: "The 'Ballyfermot head' would have come out and I probably would have grabbed the metal rod and chased them with it! It's just annoying to be honest. I had so much stuff in the car, like bank statements and clothes and stuff in the boot. I keep remembering more stuff that I kept in it so I've had to cancel bank cards and everything... I had no way of getting to work this morning. A (brave) friend of mine, who has a dealership in Churchtown, has given me a loan of a car for a few weeks but otherwise, I would have been completely stuck."

Have you seen Alan's car? It's a silver 2.5 Lexus with a 10D registration number plate. If so, Coolock Station would appreciate a call. We're assuming this is an unrelated incident, but the timing is uncanny - and Alan's Lexus has got previous...

In the meantime, we're sure you'll appreciate the full length image of Alan as Sausages. The Cons really bring it all together. NO! The socks do. Definitely the socks.