We're not just talking about Bertney's nerves on X Factor USA's live shows, or Lucy Spraggan quitting due to illness on X Factor UK, or Kye Chim-Chim-Cheree being sent home over Rylan Clark last night (it was Tulisa's turn to pull a Louis Walsh and oust the more vocally talented act as she admitted it's "not just a singing competition") once the vote got sent to DEADLOCK again. All these things are merely contributory factor to the millions turning off the X Factor each week.

The real problem is not knowing when - or rather flatly refusing to - kill a format. When the audience and hacks like me can predict exactly who's going to be voted off, and at what point, a number of weeks in advance, there is a problem. When you couple the 'predictability factor' with the 'saturation of telly talent shows factor', what you're left with is Simon Cowell effectively eating himself somewhere over the Mid Atlantic.

The UK X Factor is down a million viewers from last week, and down three million viewers on this time last year. According to The Sun: "X Factor’s peak audience - the point at which most people were watching - was just 8.3 million, 800,000 fewer than last Saturday’s peak of 9.1 million. Simon, 53, will have been further irritated to learn BBC1’s Strictly Come Dancing wiped the floor with X Factor, pulling in an average ten million - its biggest lead for six years. It recorded a peak of 10.8 million against its arch-rival’s 8.3 million.... A source explained: 'This is costing thousands - if not millions. Advertisers pay for people to watch their ads and if there are fewer people watching ITV has to make it up elsewhere'."

Best keep those figures away from Fox bigwigs: "US version has also seen figures plunge. The first live show last week bagged 7.6 million - compared with 11.8 million last year." To clarify, the UK version pulled in more viewers than the US version. I doubt the combined wages of Louis, Tulisa, Nicole and Gary come anywhere near Britney's $15million.

So what's Simon going to do? Fox have already signed for another series, but apparently the UK version is in for a "major revamp". Behold Cowell's interpretation of a revamp: "Changes could see Mel B brought in as a judge - or even Dannii Minogue and Sharon Osbourne."

Yep, 'cause the female judges are always the issue and easily thankfully disposed of. Simon, do us all a favour and give it up already. Failing that, bring in your old mate Mr. Blobby instead of Louis Walsh. If he refuses to go, insisting he's going to leak photos from your "private collection", you could always compromise and suggest he wears the Mr. Blobby suit.

That I might watch. Might.