Emmerdale: The fallout from Marlon and Laurel's big news continued well into the week down in the Dales (we should say up, it is the north of England after all) as Ashley got himself into a right old rage. Edna wasn't at all impressed with the former vicar's mood swings, and eventually even he admitted that he didn't know what he was doing. Speaking of lads with serious mood swings, our friendly neighbourhood serial killer broke free this week after some young fellas went a bit Love/Hate on the prison van he was travelling in. Cameron made a run for it when the prison guards were cornered, making off in one seriously slick ensemble, complete with a leather weekend bag. Oooh err. We wonder what on earth he could be planning next... And finally, since we're on the topic of all things unpleasant and potentially explosive, Amy decided to fight for custody of Kyle, and Paddy lost the rag with Vanessa and Marlon when they tricked him into visiting the missus, finding comfort in the arms of none other than Chas Dingle.

Coronation Street: Things at Chez Platt went from bad to worse this week as Nick, who remembered absolutely every single detail of his accident funnily enough, turned nasty (what is this, Big Brother 1?) and gave the brother an ultimatum: Find out who's the daddy or I'll send you to jail. David's dilemma became even more complicated when he turned to Tina (the Street's resident counsellor these days) for help, only for Kylie to think he was 'avin it off with the barmaid. Fun times. Meanwhile, Steve spent the week making some rather secretive phone calls (don't worry he was after a pub, not on the hunt for some good time gals) after Michelle's Irish dad turned up on the dootstep with a bit of bad news. Oh and Roy nearly knocked the cabbie over when attempting to learn to reverse around corners. We're sure he'll master the art of driving just in time to take poor Hayley up to Blackpool though.

EastEnders: Playing happy families isn't easy at the best of times but when you're living in Walford you may as well be widdling against the wind. First up for a family showdown this week were Alfie and Peroxide: Michael couldn't help but stir the pot until Mr Moon blew his lid and told Roxy he wasn't 'avin her seeing her sister behind his back. It's not as if we can't see the reunion with Kat coming a mile off... Meanwhile, cousin Michael was playing the 'ard man himself, backing Janine into a corner when she insisted on changing Scarlett's name. Needless to say, that didn't end well, and there are bound to be more explosions (featuring resident piggy in the middle Alice) when the snarky pair face off again next week. Finally, Dexter couldn't quite make his mind up about donating a kidney to his dad, but after a chat with Patrick and a few cantankerous yet cautious words from granny Cora (she couldn't help but stick her oar in) he decided to go ahead with the whole thing after all...

Fair City: Things got fairly serious for Viv this week as the truth about big daddy Paddy's antics finally emerged. As we predicted, all hell broke loose, just like it did in Chez Halpin a few years back. We'd be able to take the storyline a lot more seriously if Paddy wasn't such a textbook villain though and, to be perfectly honest, if we have to hear him harping on about his 'sacred vows' one more time we'll probably hurl the remote through the telly. Anyway, while Viv was trying and failing to escape Paddy's clutches (thanks in no small part to the perennial pain that is Charlotte), Leo was having his own troubles as daughter Shannon arrived home to discover what her daddy almost did. Less than 24 hours after her arrival the young wan was on the phone to a mystery caller: Who will come to her aid? Plus, Orla watched on wistfully as Wayne and Maeve tore strips off each other, and 'Benjamin' told Joe and Dermot to tell the social workers to take a hike. We're telling you, he's the child from the Omen. Absolutely no doubt about that.