Jon Snow's true parentage has been heralded on the biggest mystery on Game of Thrones for many years. Of course it's not a mystery anymore as it was revealed in the season six finale but the real truth is that we were fooling ourselves all along.
The real greatest mystery in Game of Thrones involves Tyrion, a brothel and a donkey.
Confused? Let's take things back to season one's 'The Golden Crown' when Tyrion was taken prisoner by Catelyn Stark in the Vale and was forced to confess his crimes to the Lady Regent, Lysa Arryn.
“Where do I begin, my lords and ladies?
I am a vile man, I confess it. My crimes and sins are beyond counting. I have lied and cheated, gambled and whored. I’m not particularly good at violence, but I’m good at convincing others to do violence for me. You want specifics, I suppose. When I was seven, I saw a servant girl bathing in the river. I stole her robe and she was forced to return to the castle naked and in tears. I close my eyes, but I can still see her tits bouncing. When I was ten, I stuffed my uncle’s boots with goat shit. When confronted with my crime, I blamed a squire. Poor boy was flogged, and I escaped justice. When I was twelve I milked my eel into a pot of turtle stew. I flogged the one-eyed snake, I skinned my sausage. I made the bald man cry into the turtle stew, which I do believe my sister ate. At least I hope she did. I once brought a jackass and a honeycomb into a brothel…”
It's here that Lysa cuts him off much to the audience's dismay, including Robin who asked what we were all thinking, "What happened next?"
It would be five years before we'd hear any other mention of the brothel an the donkey. While sharing jokes with Grey Worm and Missandei, Tyrion starts the story with "I once walked into a brothel with a honeycomb and a jackass. The Madam says..."
Of course then Tyrion is rudely interrupted again, this time by the Masters who begin their attack on Meereen and we never learn what the Madam says.
What does the Madam say? WHAT DOES THE MADAM SAY?
Will we ever hear the end of that story? Or will it be George R. R. Martin's final act of trolling against the fans? Only time will tell.
Via Uproxx