So who's this Nadine woman who's currently grabbing more headlines than Helen Flanagan's cleavage?!
Ms Dorries, AKA Mad Nad, is an MP who skidaddled off to Australia without essentially asking permission, resulting in her suspension from the Tory party. Apparently she's currently unaware of this, which is slightly amusing given she was more freaked about not knowing whether Obama got re-elected. Not to mention missing her own local elections, a by-election, and the very important Tatler ball.
So that, essentially, is Nadine. Other incidentals you may be interested in *rifles through copy of The Sun*: she's 55-years-old that’s scared of rats and mice. I'm sure her abandoned constituents will make a note of that one.
Next up is Rosie Webster, AKA the woman attached to the most famous breasts what used to be on Corrie - Helen Flanagan. She's 22 and you can be sure she'll squeal at pretty much everything. She left Corrie due to crippling panic attacks so hopefully she'll be OK when faced with her greatest fears - that being jumping out of planes and spiders. Sadly we have no photo of her in her finery, so here's an bonus shot of her with a leg hiked up on a stump to showcase her phantom wang.
Also in the jungle, we have Colin Baker, AKA Doctor Who. Yes, he is a world away from Matt Smith. He was more Forty Coats than Doctor Who. He's 69 and is most afraid of heights and - yes- spiders. While he isn't a fan of heights, he's more concerned with cliff sides than hurling himself out of planes (have all these people jumped out of planes on previous occasions?), but he needn't worry about either - he'll no doubt be let off most trials "on medical grounds." In fact, with all due respect, he'll probably be winched directly into camp.
Here we have David Haye, AKA The Hayemaker. Given he said his only phobia is "losing", he'll no doubt also be the Firemaker, the Campmaker, the Trialmaker, and the Dunnymaker. He's only 32.
You may (or may not) recognise Brian Conly as a TV presenter (Let Me Entertain You), but you probably also just mixed him up with Bradley Walsh. He's 51 and was afraid of rats, until he managed to coerce eight of the critters to crawl all over him. Yes, Brian is so swish, he can demand to have eight rats brought to his room for a massage.
This is Eric Bristow. He plays darts. He's 55. He has no phobias (I would wager 'exercise') and smokes like a chimney. The end.
Apparently Made In Chelsea's Hugo Taylor is the sole source of Mandy (man-candy) for the prepubescents out there. I miss Dougie Poynter. The 26-year-old isn't a fan of enclosed confines, being underground and - yes - spiders.
In the second helping of soap characters we have Janine off EastEnders. Michael, call off the search, we've found her, she's over on ITV in a pair of gammy shorts. Charlie Brooks, as she's also known, will mostly likely have to communicate via sign language as she has been known to lose her voice from time to time, so outdoor living may not be her friend. Neither is the idea of rats and insects crawling all over her body. She's 31.
Here, gingerly poking through the bush, is Linda Robson off Birds of a Feather. She's 54 and will refuse to lie in a coffin if asked. So she's obviously going to be asked to lie in a coffin. She also used to have an issue with rats "until she was hypnotised on This Morning six months ago." Brian must've been watching too.
Finally, this is Ashley Roberts *tumbleweeds* She was a Pussycat Doll by all accounts, just not Nicole, or the one from the dance show on Sky1, or the one who looked like a man. I still don't recognise her either. She's 31 and not into rodents and small spaces.
I can't believe not one of them said "chowing down on a kangaroo's ring piece and vomiting on live TV."
