You could do (a lot) worse than to land home from having the swift half in the local to either of our chosen films tonight. Choice one is the cult black comedy from 1986. Two hard-drinking unemployed actors sharing a grotty flat in late 1960s London think they can escape their miserable existence by decamping to a cottage in the Lake District. But finding no respite from their problems, the less self-destructive of the pair comes to realise that something has to change. That or he'll be burgled by Uncle Monty. If Camberwell Carrots aren't your bag, try The Postman Always Rings Twice (11.25pm on TV3) A drifter gets a job at a roadside diner, where he worms his way into the affections of the owner's bored and unfulfilled wife - but when the pair immerse themselves in a passionate affair, the relationship brings ugly consequences in its wake. Remake of the 1946 film noir, starring Jack Nicholson, Jessica Lange, John Colicos, Anjelica Huston and Christopher Lloyd.