Coronation Street: Just one thing I have to get off my increasing chest. I will never, as breath is still in my being, forgive Corrie writers for naming Kirsty and Tyrone's daughter Ruby. Of all the names in all the world, they had to choose the one I've been hoping to call a daughter for several years now. Yes, I could be the bigger person and just call my possible daughter Ruby regardless, but Tyrone Dobbs will have been saying 'RUUUHBAAAY' for 5 months by the time the child arrives and it'll have lost it's sheen a bit. Sorry, Gran Aunty Ruby, I just don't think I can name my little wriggler after the spawn of Corrie's resident bunny boiler and bunny brained. Especially since I 'write' about soaps for a living and folk will think I got the idea off Kirsty and Tyrone. Moving on, Tina's didn't have a good week. First Jason said he'd accept Julie's offer on the flat, then she had a conniption because Tyrone and Tommy patched things up. So she went nuclear when Kirsty started giving her sh*t (obviously in the Rovers) causing the latter's waters to break in the middle of the boozer. Tyrone wasl be pleased. Wonders will never cease - Cilla invited Chesney's family over to South Africa for Christmas. Katy was thrilled, that was until Izzy pointed out that she might be in the early stages of pregnancy. Not to worry, Katy, Tina's going to be Izzy's surrogate, 'cause she needs the money... Elsewhere, Gloria made a nuisance of herself hovering around the bar; while Michelle had to stomach Tracy and Ryan canoodling on her new couch.

Emmerdale: Carl still had nothing better to be doing with himself (especially now that Megan seemed to be cultivating an Oedipal type relationship with Robbie) so he started noticing that Chas and Cameron had something on the go. As in he saw them kissing at Chas's engagement party, and he swiped her phone and saw photos of them in bed together. 'Cause you'd keep pictures like that on your phone after you've split up with someone you were having an affair with. Especially when it's impossible to tell who took the photo. Victoria found out that Alex has been romancing Moira, so she shouted about it in the middle of the Woolly a lot. Moira needn't worry about feeling lonely, however, Cain started making Moo-eyes at her after she gives Zak a job. Well, she was returning a favour (he took on Alex). Listen there's only so many people in the village so a certain amount of incest/recycling is mandatory. Meanwhile, Pearl caught Rhona and Paddy red handed as they pack for New Zealand. Pearl told Marlon straight away. Embarrassing fight ensued.

EastEnders: Michael and Janine continued to epitomise the atypical Walford marriage. Speaking of which, Kat and all her bra compartments decided she needed to give up her illicit bedsit (which she probably keeps in her bra as well), but then an oblivious Jean returned the key from the rubbish bin - will Kat be tempted again?!?! She was. Funnily enough, it's only when she decided she wants to make a proper go of her marriage that Alfie smelled a rat. In an attempt to appease Alice, Derek found a creative way to apologise to Ian for his unpleasant behaviour towards Lucy. As ever, there was lots of shouting and fervent whispering.

Fair City: You've got to love Bob. While he was busy goading the lovely Ingrid to chase Louie after lp;ooz (sorry, cat just did a dance on the keyboard) their kiss, Carol started becoming suspicious of her husband's sketchy behaviour. Despite Louis informing his ex-wife that his current wife is the woman for him, Ingrid was hell bent on convincing him otherwise - 'cause women never play hard to get in soaps.