Coronation Street: In soapland, the only way of getting a woman to listen to you is by holding her hostage in your car and driving her somewhere deserted. It didn't work for Tommy and Tina, and - on this occasion - it didn't work for Karl and Stella. Initially, anyway... Elsewhere, Tina and Fiz got Kirsty's mum (Weatherfield's answer to Meryl Streep, such are her acting skillz) on board in their neverending quest to help Tyrone (not that 'intimidating a witness' will be much help to him). Alison managed to get her daughter to confess all about Tyrone, she even managed to convince her to go to the police, but then it all went to pot when Kirsty saw her mum leaving Tina's flat. Eileen turned into a mardy teenager when Paul let slip that the Full Monty organiser, Toni, happens to be female, so we were treated to herself and Julie attempting to spy on the 'competition' from their car - much like Rita and Deirdre have been known to do, and Gail and Audrey, and any other desperate female determined to keep her man. Meanwhile, Faye reckoned she could get Tim and Anna together by denying Owen a ticket to her school play.

EastEnders: Because going on the run with Lexi after her court hearing was the only reasonable option for Lola's beady peepers, we got treated to the interior of Alexa's squat when Phil, Sharon and Billy go looking for the runaway. Alexa, of course, is the only person Lola can turn to - the very same person who got Lexi taken off her in the first place. Still, at least they can have a larf abaaah' tit... Things ended up typically miserable when Alexa threw a delightful dubstep soiree, which is great for a baby, especially when the police were called. In other Soap plotline staples; Denise and Ian get locked in the backroom of the Minute Mart with a bottle of summink, and they found out all sorts of tings about each other, like Ian's got a horny devil tattooed on her hewp, and that Denise is really rubbish at impressions. Something which doesn't happen often in soap occurred: instead of coming back from a short trip a teenager, young Bobby Beale has managed to reverse the aging process. Dot continued to think that Cora was stealing from her, but then settled on the more logical explanation, that being 'er 'aaaaase' is 'aunted fanks to Ethel and her little Willy. Really, it's Fats and his little willy going sleepwalking, stealing Dot's eclairs.

Emmerdale: Gennie was typically frustrated when Brenda did a bunk from hospital. Then, when she found out she had a brain tumour that needs removing pretty sharpish, Brenda set about throwing an entire bag of mixed messages at Bob. She did manage "I'm sick", but Bob was sick to the back teeth of having the mick ripped out of him at that point so he wasn't that receptive to her plight. Sandy's behaviour caused Laurel and Ashley concern as he kept going for walkies with the village youff. You'd think they'd be happy he's managing to get about without his scooter, but they weren't. Sandy wants a place of his own, see, so he'd rather add himself to the list for sheltered accommodation than endure Marlon for much longer. We were meant to care about Paddy's new catering venture; Thomas managed to tug on Cameron's heart strings; while Debbie started to utilise Robbie's affections for her.

Fair City: Eddie and Decco's plans to rob Phelan's shop went disastrously wrong. Put it this way, Christy ended up in hospital. Things were awkward between Damien and Ama after their awkward kiss, which was awkward; Vivienne's driving made Ray nervous, which he must have enjoyed cause he plans to ask her out next week; while Judith discovered that she was being spied on. I should be able to tell you who was spying on her, but - again - I can only bring myself to watch Fair City about four times a year.