Coronation Street: Ryan and his 'drug issues' informed Michelle she'd be better off without him. When she pointed out that he had no money to go anywhere, he decided his only option was to steal from the factory. Rob caught him, by swiftly hammering him over the head with a hole puncture. And just when you thought Ryan couldn’t get more annoying, he said he's doing Rob (who's still on probation) for assault. They should just stick Ryan, Faye and Robbie off Emmerdale on a desert island somewhere. Kirsty went all Stewie Griffin on Tommy asking for 'her' money back, which meant he was working double shifts. Cue another trip to the hospital. Elsewhere, Stella's mum Gloria (not the one who tended bar in the mid-eighties; this Gloria is being played by Sue Johnston) arrived on the cobbles, with a very long oar.
Emmerdale: Alex - who doesn’t look nearly as good topless as my imagination thought he would - played a risky game juggling Moira and Victoria’s affections/body parts. For example, Victoria suggested she moves in with him and Moira. Then she insisted they buy a house together. And then he buggered things right up when Andy walked in on himself and Moira canoodling in the kitchen. Furious that Declan refused to evict Robbie, Katie formed a plan to get rid - cue the usual honey trap. Thing is, that didn't work either. When Amy kicked Kerry out for lying, Andy took her in - so then she took him in, while the enormity of their New Zealand move sunk in for Rhona and Paddy.
EastEnders: Kat struggled with her growing feelings for her lover (enough already), but before she could decide what to do, Alfie announced that The Vic had an infestation of some sort (let your mind wander), meaning she has to spend time away from her hubby. Shirley's downward spiral continued, but despite Phil’s determination to get her back she was convinced he's only concerned with protecting his secret. Then he got Carly to come back to the square, which finally managed to sober Shirley up. Elsewhere, Tanya and Sharon continued to tear strips off each other.
Fair City: Carol's triumph over Louie and Ingrid’s fight was shortlived, when she discovered that Louie has been sharing secrets with his ex. He was sharing a bit more with her during Thursday's episode. Cass was feeling better and enjoying the cushy life in the Brennan's, but Paul quickly realised that a career as a nursemaid was not part of his new life plan. And in the storyline that just won't quit, Lucy used all her guile to manipulate Bob into making a shocking accusation against Pete in public.