It was a bit of a comedown on Fairly Shitty this week after all the shenanigans of people dying and whatnot, in previous episodes. This week, Ray (you all know him, he's the obese, greasy, aesthetically-disturbing dude, with the porn star moustache and the complete and utter lack of self respect). Well, this week Leo ended up in hospital as we all know, and Ray felt bad for his current drip-laden predicament and apologised profusely. Leo, nice sort that he is, simply waved away his "sorry" with the usual extravagant hand gestures and erratic vocal tones. Elsewhere, Heather didn't give a rat's genitals about Brendan, and instead spent the week moping about after her dead lover/brother - there is something inherently wrong with that sentence. Brendan was obviously holding out for a reconciliation, but she really wasn't arsed. Just wait till she's crying, Brendan, and slip in a pervy hug.

On Emmerdale, Lexi was up to her old dirty tricks in the factory - but it worked on Pollard (who is the king of the dirty tricks) and he gave her the job as supervisor. Needless to say, it didn't go down too well with the natives, who started plotting her downfall almost immediately. Elsewhere, Jo finally broke down and admitted to Debbie that Andy was knocking back the Stella Artois and going to town on her for no good reason. Debbie was shocked, which was the perfect way to introduce the theme music at the end of the week. Don't worry people, it'll be back on Monday with f**king bells on.

On Eastenders, Max was winding Tony up yet again, so he went to pull his ugly sibling's head off for winding him up. I think Max may have called Tanya a screamer, or something along those lines; but he, y'know, dropped it in subtly. Meanwhile, Ricky went on a date with some generic broad but found himself pining after Bianca, as the image of her ginger mush is hard to shake once it's imbedded into the mind. By the end of the week, he had finally told Bianca (The Babymaking Machine) how he feels.

On Corrie, Liam went apeshit when he found out that Tom had taken Carla on as his new business partner. Carla enjoyed every last minute of winding him up - evidently, that now seems to be the sole purpose of her character.  But it's different, because of all the sexual tension and whatnot. Apparently, Liam will soon buy the farm in the soap - as a soap magazine screamed out to me from the shelf in our local Spar. Don't you just wish you could climb into the television and tell him? Or, maybe change the fate of other folk, like having Nicola from Emmerdale and most of the cast of Fair City die horrible painful but "accidental" deaths instead. Too much? Elsewhere this week, Fiz made the mistake of going to John's grandmother's funeral to help him grieve. But all she ends up doing is adding to the downright disgusting thoughts he was having about her. Hey, is Rosie legal yet, does anyone know?