There comes a point in life, when you start blocking out things that may have caused you pain. This could be anything from a painful childhood memory (like a puppy being crushed by a passing bus), to a loved one passing on. Well, every week thanks to Fair City, my metaphorical puppy is crushed by a passing RTE lorry that's carrying vast amounts of tax payer's money to the station, so they can make more shite like this *cocks gun and holds to head*. Anyway, this week Yvonne had finally burnt most of her bridges after generally being a complete bitch for an elongated period of time. Elsewhere, Tracey discovered that Barry was still using her name for the 'Dear Tracey' bit of the paper, and was about to confront him when Dominic did it for her. It is all, obviously, very exciting.

It was a big week on Emmerdale, though, as the truth about Andy and tendency to slap Jo around finally came out. Andy reacted to the whole ungodly situation the way any wife-beater would: by chowing down on a shitload of painkillers, and hoping for a quick, painless death so he can avoid the embarrassment of being branded a wife-beater. Daz was in denial for most of this, but then finally relented when he saw first-hand exactly what Andy is capable of. He walked in on him while he was roughing young Josephine up (again), y'see, after she told him he wouldn't be able to see Sarah anymore. He was about to start swinging when the young, disillusioned Daz intervened and did his whole 'perplexed' thing.

Down London way in Eastenders, Danielle (who has basically spent her tenure in the soap so far bawling her f**king eyes out), bawled her eyes out all week. See, Roxie is her Ma, and we know this because the writers have thrown us a ridulous amount of very obvious red herrings. Also, if Roxie was any more mean to her, Danielle would be likely to do a Van Halen off a bridge somewhere. She's your daughter you crazy cow - stop being such an absolute dick for no apparent reason. Although, seeing Stacey hilariously run into the club and drown her with water was so stupid, that it actually made me laugh - then question the futility of humanity.

On Corrie, it was all about the lead-up to Liam's death, as Carla finally flexed that pelvic muscle for the right reason and binned him - causing much distress to the chiselled dreamboat. To say it was a bad week for the sex symbol would be a bit of an understatement, as Maria is also apparently up the Daryl Duffy. Binned by your lover, bird you don't wanna be with is preggers, and f**ked off a cliff? Not a great week at all, Liam. Elsewhere, Kevin was completely at breaking point when Rosie failed to return home, and a wily conspiracy theorist in the office thinks John has kidnapped her. At least they got her into a barrage of tight corsets and short shorts before killing her off. Ah, only joking - I'm sure John won't murder her.