Christy was a right mess in Fair City last week. After being dumped, he slipped into a sad drunken state and not only did he fail to open his shop, he went to some bar and burned a hole in some lady's blouse. Then, to make his pathetic life even more pathetic, he barged into McCoy's and launched a "drunken fuelled" attack on Louis and Carol. He was atrocious at acting intoxicated; my four-month-old nephew could have done a better job. Anyway, after he had successfully embarrassed himself in front of the extras and fellow cast members, Ray managed to drag him home. Elsewhere, Niamh and Rachel were having a rocky week. After they had a row, Rachel confided in Barry while at her grind. Paul however got the wrong end of the stick and confronted his ex best friend about being inappropriate - not physically mind, thank God - with his daughter. Barry was obviously shocked and appalled at the accusations (surprising; isn't that how he and Niamh got together all those years ago?). Paul cancelled Rachel's grind regardless, as he had a sneaky suspicion that all was not right. I think Paul is totally oblivious to the fact that Rachel has feelings for Philip and not the overweight, balding middle aged man. Elsewhere, Vivienne and Charlotte moved into the Bishop's gaf and Sash immediately spotted how Charlotte had her mum wrapped around her finger. The pyjama wearing cousin berated the young girl for using her illness and even later tried to get Vivienne to do less for her daughter so that she'd learn to stand on her own two feet. Charlotte didn't not like that at all.

In EastEnders, Ronnie still hadn't come clean, but we are that little teeny, weeny, incy bit closer to her revealing her baby swap secret *sighs*. Jack found her staying at Aunt Sal's and, after a heart to heart, he managed to convince her to return home. However, she still didn't tell him why she'd turned into a raving lunatic. Roxy was so worried about her sister that she had completely neglected her salon. All was not lost though; Michael suggested that she offer Tanya a quick sale, leaving her in a position to concentrate on her personal life, preferably with him. The real showdown of the week occurred in the Argee Bhajee. At the beginning of the week, Tamwar and Afia got married, without their family knowing as they were sick of their parents interfering in their relationship. It had to remain a secret though until after the engagement party, which took place in the family restaurant. Masood, being the cheap dope that he is, failed to take Greg's advice on his shoddy roof and went ahead with the party. Tamwar invited Syed and Christian and when they showed up, Zainab lost the plot and ordered them out. But then, disaster struck and the roof collapsed landing on top of Syed. Mother Masood was more concerned about people's perception of her family rather then her half-dead son, who lay motionless on the floor and just stood looking as if nothing was wrong, while everyone else tried to help. Matters were made worse when Zainab learnt that Masood knew about the roof and they had no insurance. Finally, Heather joined an online dating site and got a little airbrushing/profile picture alteration help courtesy of Darren.

John was not a happy farmer in Emmerdale as Declan was making his family's future look very bleak. Adam decided that milking the cows just wasn't his style anymore and so he took up Declan's job offer over at Home Farm with the prospect of being promoted to estate manager, news that made Moira upset. Her husband, on the other hand, was furious his landlord had the upper hand, so he purposely allowed Adam sleep in making him late for his first day on the job. Then, when Declan announced he was selling up, John let loose and launched at him in the pub. Adam soon started to then think that Declan had used him so that the surveyor could have a nose around Butler's, and place a valuation on it. It was pretty obvious from the start but Adam is clearly a few apples short of an orchard. You could cut the tension between Zak and Lisa with a knife as they began to drift further apart. Matters weren't helped when the police contacted Lisa and told her that they were re-opening her case after learning that Derek had raped another lady. She may not have had the support of her hubby, but Bell was there to give her mum the shoulder that she so desperately craved. Kelly and Eve manufactured some photos of Jimmy with his so called son and Kelly, which she claimed were taken before he had the accident. This, along with some forged receipts made Jimmy think that she was telling the truth. Looks like Nicola has a tougher battle on her hands. Finally, Alicia stole from Leyla's shop and after getting away with it the first time, she went for seconds.

Finally, let's see what drama was unfolding in Coronation Street. Gail was so worried that Kylie would ruin David she asked Nick for his help so that they could get rid of the money grabber for good. As the hen night approached, Gail offered Kylie a thousand pounds to disappear for good. It looked like she had taken the money because on the wedding day, David was left wondering where she was. Alas, she made a dramatic entrance stunning Gail. I said it before and I'll say it again, offering someone a thousand bucks to do a runner is like offering someone a fiver to rob a bank. She'd just about get a train journey to London for that amount. Now, should she have offered in around the ten thousand mark, then maybe Kylie would have considered the offer more seriously. David wasn't the only one having a mare on his wedding day. Xin and Graeme were preparing to commit fraud as Tina sat watching beside Norris, who informed her that he knew the truth. Jim and Liz announced they were back together and the McDonalds started getting ready for the big secret sale but Jim boy was having trouble raising the cash. Hmmm, I wonder how he'll get hold of some....