Coronation Street: Things went from desperate to just plain weird (yet strangely comforting) for Carla this week. Firstly, the person she mowed down while drunk, that being Stella, rocked around to offer her support. As it turned out, she's been raped in the past. Feeling invigorated thanks to her new ally (despite said ally not being made aware that Carla nearly killed her, not Frank), Carla headed off to work in the factory - only to find Frank's mummy has taken over his side of the business... Elsewhere, Eileen's new man, Paul, was a persistent sort (too good to be true, has to have a wife); Chris continued to meddle with Cheryl and Lloyd's love life; and Owen thought he should inform Faye that he's courting her new mother.
EastEnders: Amira's shoe collection returned to Albert Square this week (the pop career didn't really take off), armed with Syed's daughter, Yasmin. Zainab ended up in Yusef's arms, which planned to whisk her away on a trip (he actually intended to take her overseas, as opposed to taking the cheaper option of crushing more pills into her dinner). Tyler continued to woo Whitney, Hevvah threw a party for Dot to celebrate her spending 50 years in the laundrette - 'cause that's worth celebrating - while Kat and Alfie set about exposing Mandy. In more ways than the obvious. That wasn't all Kat was busy with, mind. She also had a go off a birrah strange.
Emmerdale: Remember when Marlon and Laurel kind of kissed last week, well they properly got round to it this week. On Monday, in fact. Sort of. Marlon put the lunge in. It was awkward. Speaking of unsettling unions, both Debbie and Jai had concerns over Charity's reignited relationship with Cain - the usual. Carl and Cameron were at loggerheads over work, with the latter going particularly overboard (paint spray on CCTV camera, getting his mother-in-law to feel up Edna to get the Kings' keys); Moira went behind John's back to strike a deal with Cain; and Aaron fffiiiiinnaally agreed to go see a counsellor. Who looks a little like the dude from Spooks.
Fair City: Was anyone missing Keith's mush? Well, aren't you happy not that he's decided to come back from Italy. Apparently he missed Orla. She, however, now only wants to be friends - until she went looking for some "comfort" - as being unemployed and having to woo Leo have started to get her down. Jo (finally) became uncomfortable when Judith tried to strike up a friendship (she asked to go to a concert with her), while Paul offered Dermot a job to be his accountant which he gratefully accepted. It wasn't all good news for that fraught couple, however; Philip reckons he's had enough of lurking about the house, so he's going to live with his mum.