Jasmine crumbles like a cheap digestive biscuit in a mug of sugary tea tonight, after she was called in to the fuzz to give a statement about the messy demise of Shane. Luckily, as with most soaps, the fuzz are idiots, and put it down to fact that she's just upset that he has been messily killed. Even though she actually blurts out the words "it's my fault he's dead", which is quite general. Now, if she was really remorseful, she should've shouted out "it's my fault he's dead, as I repeatedly beat him over the head with a chair leg after he tried to have surprise sex with me". Elsewhere, in true comedic fashion Paddy the Perv turns up at the woolpack dressed in a yoga outfit having misheard what Marlon said.