Frankly, dear reader, I'm getting a bit jaded with looking at the same static faces looking their version of perfection as they continue to float up red carpets at Cannes.

So here's Kate Beckinsale doing her best Godfather impression. Yep, that's what she's gesticulating... Alternatively, I could have gone with Meg Ryan's failed attempt at making a different facial expression to the one she usually sports, but there was little sexual connotations linked to that one (although, it does depend on what you're into) so I left it off. Today, we're also doing things a little bit differently by bringing you a reptile, some man on man action, Ursula Andres's cleavage, and a human landslide. Seriously, that dress is immense. All she's missing is a headdress depicting a plume of volcanic ash.

One thing I'm not tiring of is the abundance of arse crack on display, which is strange given its abundance (you might recall Thursday's hoop A , Friday's hoop B, and yesterday's exposed arse). Behold the latest showcase of arse cheek. It comes courtesy of Tina Turner's alleged daughter-in-law, one Lesly Mess. As 'Karen78' commented yesterday, "Mess by name..."

Speaking of yesterday's pictorial happenings...