Naw, lookit. Lookit him there. It's enough to break your heart, and I couldn't give two tootles about X Factor contestants. You can see him contemplating life back in the solitary bedsit, with his Christmas meal for one - that is unless a cruise ship snaps him up and whisks him off round the Caribbean so he can sing sideways into his mic for easily entertained sorts for the rest of his days.
You deserve that, Johnny. You didn't deserve to be lumbered with a Jive Bunny Megamix of You Spin Me Round and bleedin' Hung Up. Lady GaGa's Born This Way would've been spot on. Then again, Louis Walsh knows best. As does the voting public apparently... After all, they've voted for Frankie Cocozza to stay in - probably because Louis was ordered to inform him that he'd "never be a rock star." Louis was ordered to do that so viewers need to feel some sort of empathy for the walking haircut who has nothing else to offer apart from the potential of liver disease and syphilis. No charm, no element of novelty, no talent. Just hair.Just. Hair.
Johnny was the second person evicted last night, he had to engage in a sing off with his fellow "over", Lauren Harries McPermaUnderhewp. In saying that, she did a good job (no dancing was required). As did The Risk, but no matter; they got ousted with immediate effect - probably because they were a beyond stilted in the show's new insert - all the contestants huddled in a tunnel backstage being fired questions by Dermot. Everyone talked about how nervous they were, while Frankie scoffed that he didn't "nearly get enough sleep, mate" when O'Leary jovially announced the teenager had managed to get himself half an hour's kip. 'Cause that's how interesting Frankie is.
P.S. Florence, in the event that it's not your intention to resemble Jesus in drag; lose the center parting, for your forehead can't handle it.
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