Yup. In Peru of all places. Be warned, it's five minutes of full on cringe as the pair make their way to to Peru's Estadio Nacional in Lima on April 27th.
There's lots of celebrating due to the fact that they have chicken waiting for them. In case you assumed they all have a serious case of the savory munchies, apparently 'chicken' is a code word for cannabis. Not sure why they went to that trouble of code words given Louis and Zayne then start talking about 'Mary Jane', which isn't so covert. Then Louis continously refers to the police around the car as the "po po." Honestly, this is the video they will look back on in five to ten years time and be mortified by. And not just because they're allegedly smoking a joint in a country that could have them imprisoned probably for less.
For those unable to view the video (the existence of which is mind boggling), The Daily Mail have diligently typed out this edited transcript of what goes down... apart from estimations of those involved. Honestly, I couldn't watch it all such was the urge to mute Louis Tomlinson.
Louis and Zayn leave the underground car park as they head to the stadium for the concert:
Minder: Well we got a full chicken.. we can take this to Jamaica, we don’t have anything in Jamaica set up
Unknown male: Are we allowed to talk contraband in this?
Louis: Yes of course. That’s what it’s about... Where’s the lighter? Can anybody pass me a lighter please? I want to light up. You got a lighter?
After much searching, Louis can be seen lighting up and heard coughing
Louis: So here we are, leaving Peru. Joint lit. Happy days... What do you think Zayn? About that kind of content?
Zayn: I think it’s very controversial
Louis sees a police motorbike rider escorting their convoy
Louis: ‘That’s the police. That’s the po po... Nice. I’m trying to blow it into the camera. Smokescreen baby!... That’s just Zayn warming up there before the show. Zayn takes his job very seriously. He makes sure he goes through a two-hour intense warm up regime before every show, just to get himself in the zone. One very, very important factor to Zayn’s warm up, of course is Mary Jane herself. In fact I’m presenting it to him now for some fantastic singing
Louis passes Zayn the roll up cigarette
Louis: How is it Zayn?
Zayn: Nice
Louis: That’s the po po. One nil
Louis starts filming out the window
Louis: Get a bit of the culture. How’s that kind of culture?
Zayn: It’s great culture this. It’s going to be even greater culture when we get to Jamaica
Member of crew: I just got an update. We got chicken in Chile
Zayn: Chicken in Chile! Chile chicken
Louis: Yeh baby. That’s the po po. Two nil
Louis puts on an exaggerated dopey voice and sways the camera around:
Louis: F***ing ‘ell bro, I’m chillin. Oh my God bro. My ‘ed’s a wreck
Louis: It’s green only! Nig!
Louis: I’m just wondering now. I’m sitting here in Peru wondering will this come back to me? Who knows? Maybe, maybe not
Another police bike passes:
Louis: One nil b***h! Look at this b***h... He’s having a look. He’s thinking. I’m sure I can smell an illegal substance in there. And he’s hit the nail on the head
Zayn: Carl showed... me Kid Rock’s last book. And it’s about twice the size. Hard back. Black. Simple writing. No bulls***. No like ‘My favourite colour’s blue.. And all just sick pictures
Louis is passed the roll up by a crew member and zooms in on it:
Louis: Ooo Stubbsy!
MORTO.
The clip could cause serious harm the band's squeaky-clean image, and will no doubt upset the parents of many of their younger fans. But it probably won't. Here's looking at you, Miley Cyrus.
